


Roommate

by Peanut739



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Camille Belcourt Being An Asshole, Coming Out, Depression, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Romance, Suicidal Thoughts, Virgin Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-09-27 13:03:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 42,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10021868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peanut739/pseuds/Peanut739
Summary: Malec College AU - Alec and Magnus end up as roommates. They get along and become friends, but where will things go from there? Living together can be fun, but also very stressful.





	1. Fresh Start

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, they belong to Cassandra Clare~

Alec sighed. _This is it_ he thought to himself, _this will be my life for the next years._ He was standing in front of his dorm room, he had been for a few minutes now, contemplating whether he should just open the door and finally take a look inside or just stand there and reflect on his life. Seeing as his arms got tired from holding onto most of his belongings, which he kept in a small suitcase, he finally decided to go in and have a look.

 

The room wasn’t so bad after all. There was a couch that didn’t seem to be falling apart entirely (Alec had heard many stories of damaged furniture in dorm rooms) and a small bathroom (thank the Angel, communal bathrooms were the bane of his existence). Besides the couch stood two wardrobes made of light wood (A/N: no pun intended). Then there was a window from which you actually had a nice view of the surrounding campus. In the corner left from the door were two desks, arranged on either side of the wall.  And lastly, there were two beds, across from each other on either side of the window.

 

 _Right…two beds_. Alec let out another sigh as he placed his suitcase down next to one of them. He hoped his roommate wouldn’t be a complete jerk. He had to deal with enough horrible people back in high school, didn’t need any more in his life, now that he finally made it to college.

 

Alec took another look around the room before he started unpacking. It was nice actually, nicer than he had anticipated at least. Sure, it could use some touch ups here and there, but that was nothing a few pictures or posters on the wall and knickknacks around the room couldn’t fix.

As Alec was almost done stacking his few clothes and putting them away, he began to wonder where his roommate might be. It was almost 2pm and from what he gathered, registrations wouldn’t be open for much longer. Maybe he had lucked out and they forgot to assign a second student to this room? Then again, Alec could use some company. Alec was never really a social person, but if he was forced to live with someone, he could probably (well, maybe…) make a friend.

 

Alec was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a knock at the door. He quickly got up and ran a hand through his jet black hair, trying to make himself look presentable (first impressions are important, alright?).

When he opened the door however, Alec was face to face with a huge bag. Confused, he scrunched his eyebrows before realizing that there actually were two arms wrapped around said bag.

 

“Hi,” Alec said. “Hey,” the bag replied, shoving his way into the room. Alec physically cringed at the awkwardness of the situation before turning around to look at the person carrying the bag.

Before him stood a tall man with tanned skin and black hair that was spiked up. He was facing the window, not allowing Alec to see his face. He stretched his arms above his head which made his bright green tank top ride up, revealing a muscular back.

When he finally turned around to face Alec again, his deep brown eyes met Alec’s. The man standing before him had Asian features, some eyeliner and painted nails with some rings on each hand. He was smiling brilliantly at Alec and raised his hand.

 

“I’m Magnus. Pleasure to meet you,” he said with a smooth, silky voice. Alec smiled back politely and shook his hand. “Alec  Lightwood.” “Hmm…interesting name. Is it short for something?” Magnus inquired. “Alexander, but everyone calls me Alec,” Alec replied, finally letting Magnus’ hand go. Magnus grinned. “I like the sound of that.” He quickly looked around the room, taking in his new home. After nodding in approval, he turned to Alec again.

“I need to pick up a few more bags, I’ll be right back,” he said as he made his way to the door. _More bags?_ Alec suddenly felt like he should’ve brought more stuff with him as well. Deciding that he should make a good first impression, Alec offered to help Magnus carry his remaining bags. He actually had 3 more, all of them gigantic.

 

“Where do you plan to put all that stuff?” Alec asked. He was panting slightly after running up and down the stairs several times. Magnus took a look at his wardrobe, which was packed to the brim with different shirts, skinny jeans and some attires which Alec couldn’t even begin to describe. Magnus still had an entire bag to unpack. After thinking for a second, he opened Alec’s wardrobe and a sly grin creeped on his face. “Well, you don’t seem to need your entire space so I’ll just put some of my stuff in here,” he said. Alec wanted to protest but Magnus had already started to put his clothes away and he doubted that he could stop him anymore. So instead, he just sighed and shook his head slightly. “Fine, but don’t mix our stuff up.” Magnus took an amused look at Alec. “Why? Don’t you think you could pull off my skinny jeans?” he joked, causing Alec to snort at the thought. “Let’s just say we have to very different…styles,” he returned. Magnus chuckled. Alec didn’t know it, but he was also very glad to have a somewhat nice roommate.

 

After he finally finished putting away all of his belongings, Magnus stood in front of Alec’s bed, on which he was currently lying and reading a book. “I think we should get to know each other a little bit. Join me for a coffee?” Magnus asked, putting his hands on his hips. Alec looked up at him. To him this seemed less like a question but more like a statement. Coffee actually sounded nice and getting to know each other was the first step in becoming friends, right? And Alec really didn’t want to screw things up with a man he’d have to share his room with for the next years.

 

“Sure, let’s go.”


	2. Coffee and Small Talk

The campus was beautiful. While summer still carried his warm winds through the air, fall had already painted the trees in a deep orange. There were several other students either sitting on the grassy fields or walking along the paths leading towards different stores and restaurants.

Alec and Magnus decided on one of the smaller coffee shops called Java’s. It was furnished beautifully with wooden chairs and tables along windows that allowed a look on the city in the distance. There weren’t many people in the shop but there was a constant murmur filling the room, though it wasn’t distracting, if anything, it made the shop feel even more comfy and welcoming. Alec immediately fell in love with it as they entered and Magnus was also nodding in approval. They sat down at a window table in the back of the shop.

Shortly after, a waitress with long, brown, curly hair came up to them. Alec ordered a plain black coffee while Magnus went with green tea.

 

“So Alexander, tell me about yourself,” Magnus began after they settled down. Alec wondered how he could present himself to seem as interesting as possible. He wasn’t really used to small talk – how do people even keep up a conversation about nothing? Before he could ponder on his thoughts for too long, he decided to just get the basics out of the way in hopes that Magnus would keep the conversation going.  “Well, I moved here from New York, I have three younger siblings, uhm…” Damn, was he really already running out of things to say? “Oh right, and I’m here for the literature program, but I’m not really sure what I’m going to do after college – I’d like to be an author I guess…well maybe.”

 

Literature was one of the few things Alec loved to talk about. He could go on and on about his favorite books and quotes and how most movies ruin stories. If he got started, it was hard to stop him. But he realized it was probably too soon to weird Magnus out.

 

 _Alright, that seemed like a good start. And I didn’t even embarrass myself yet_ , Alec thought to himself _._ When he looked up at Magnus, he was staring at him with an interested expression. _Am I supposed to say more?_ “Uhm…what about you?” Magnus chuckled at how obviously not used to social situations Alec was, it was adorable. So Magnus decided to take it easy on him and play along, trying to ease the other man into talking freely. “I’ve been born in Indonesia, I lived in England for over ten years, then I moved to America about 4 years ago and now I’m here.” There, that would leave some questions open for Alec to jump on.

 

“England, huh? How was it there?” _There you go_ , Alec thought, _that’s a solid question to ask, isn’t it?_ Magnus grinned, his plan was working. “It was nice while it lasted. I still have some friends back there but I’m honestly in love with the states,” he replied easily. “And what are you studying?” Alec continued. This was going pretty well. “I’m going for photography, it’s been a hobby of mine since I was a kid and I’d love to make a career out of it.”

 

Alec smiled at the other man, who was beaming with excitement as soon as he mentioned photography. It was like his whole face lit up and he was exuding confidence and happiness.

 

As it turns out, talking to Magnus was easy for Alec. He actually made it easy and they were getting along very well. Both of them were relieved that at that fact, seeing as they had to live with each other in a small room.

 

When they finished their drinks and their waitress came over, Magnus demanded to pay for both of them after Alec helped him carry his luggage earlier.

“Thanks, but that really wasn’t necessary,” Alec said as they made their way out of the café and back to their dorm. “Don’t mention it,” Magnus replied, shrugging. They walked beside each other in comfortable silence for a while before Alec began to speak again. “I’d love to see some of your photos if you wouldn’t mind,” he said, grinning at Magnus. “I’ll show you some,” Magnus replied, smiling slyly at Alec, “but you’ve got to let me read some of the stuff you’ve written.” Alec blushed slightly. Usually no one cared for his writings (except the small following he had on his private Blog, but no one was supposed to know about that), so when Magnus actually showed interest, he wasn’t quite sure what to think of it.

“Uhm…yeah. Okay. Sounds fair,” Alec said, not daring to look back at Magnus. He’d rather spare himself the embarrassment of Magnus making fun of his writing, but he didn’t seem like someone who’d do that. Alec knew that he tried to make him feel comfortable, he realized that in the coffee shop, but he didn’t mind. If that was what it would take for them to get used to each other and develop a friendship, he was fine with that.

 

The two made their way back in silence. Back in their room, Alec continued his book while Magnus was texting some of his friends. They were each lying on their bed, not talking to each other, but it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. They were actually both happy with the situation, being able to spend time without the need to talk.

 

When Magnus went to sleep, he couldn’t help but smile at the prospect of the weeks to come. He was glad he’d get to share them with a likeable person like Alec, who made him feel like he wasn’t alone.

What he didn’t know, was that Alec actually felt the same way - though neither of them would ever admit it.


	3. 'Good' Morning

Courses wouldn’t start for another week, giving the new students time to settle in.  Alec had planned to spend those few extra days doing nothing productive at all, instead he wanted to get as much reading time in as he could because he doubted that, with all his upcoming projects and essays, he’d have much time to read what he wanted to instead of what his classes would need him to.

This plan however was crushed by heavy knocking at the door that seemed to shake every wall in the dorm.

 

Alec opened his eyes and rubbed them to force his grogginess away. He’d stayed up late reading. Looking around the room he saw that it was just about 7AM, no time for a normal human being to be up yet…Across the room, he caught a glimpse of Magnus tossing around in his bed. He seemed uncoordinated and tried to pull his pillow over his head to block out the sound. Alec couldn’t help but laugh at how messy and tired he looked.

When another knock shook the walls, Alec finally decided to get up and scream at whoever dared to wake him up this early. He rolled out of bed and groaned in discomfort. Shuffling towards the door, he tried to tame his messy hair as best as he could before opening the door, ready to rage.

 

What Alec didn’t expect was to be tackled down as soon as he opened the door. All he saw was a flash of dark hair and furious eyes before he was knocked to the ground, whoever was standing in front of the door now hovering on top of him. He blinked a few times to clear his still blurry vision, but before he could make out who the hell was pinning him down at the moment, a shrill voice made it clear who this ominous person was.

 

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood! You promised to call me! I thought you were kidnapped or sick or dead! What has gotten into you?!”

Glaring down at Alec was his dear little sister Isabelle. Her face was bright red and it conveyed a look that said ‘I’m probably going to kill you’. That’s when Alec remembered, he promised to call her as soon as he got to his dorm but he completely forgot when he went for a drink with Magnus.

Alec was still wondering why his sister was here, she could’ve just texted him…But his mind was still in sleep mode so he couldn’t put his thoughts in order. Instead he just replied in a sarcastic tone “Good morning to you too, Izzy.”

 

Magnus, who had propped himself up on his elbows had watched the scene in front of him with amusement. “Your girlfriend?” he asked with a small chuckle – bad move.

Izzy’s eyes shot up at him, glancing at Magnus with a death stare that might have actually killed him right then and there if she held it up for another few seconds. Instead, she pounced onto him before either he or Alec could react. Now, she was pinning Magnus down on his bed with a force that completely surprised him. She stared down into his eyes, causing all the blood in Magnus’ face to drain, leaving a pale husk with wide, fearful eyes. “What did you do to him? Did you rape him?!” Izzy screamed at the confused and frightened man beneath her. “I…what?!” Magnus managed to mutter, but nothing else was coming out.

 

Luckily, Alec had regained enough composure to finally get up and grab his sister’s shoulders, pulling her back softly. This had become very awkward very quickly and Alec really didn’t appreciate Izzy threatening (or possibly killing) Magnus. “Calm down Izzy, he’s my roommate. I forgot to call because we went out for a coffee right after we unpacked.”

Alec’s words seemed to calm Izzy down immensely, she relaxed her tense muscles and looked Magnus over, who was still lying beneath her, before she got up again. “Oh, why didn’t you just say so,” she said with a suddenly calm and collected voice. She extended an arm towards Magnus and smiled brilliantly. “I’m Isabelle, Alec’s sister.”

 

Now Magnus understood. Alec mentioned strong family bonds yesterday, but this certainly wasn’t what Magnus had expected, though he was almost touched by the fierce protectiveness of the young woman. After her sudden mood change, she seemed to be nice, polite almost if it wasn’t for the almost-murder seconds ago.

 

Magnus shook her hand and introduced himself. “Magnus Bane.” Izzy smiled at him, then looked over to Alec who scrunched his eyebrows and shook his head while sighing, then she looked back to Magnus with the smallest hint of a glint in her eyes – it almost seemed as if she was plotting something…maybe Magnus wasn’t going to survive the day after all.

“I’m sorry,” Alec finally said, giving Magnus an apologetic look, “Izzy can get crazy sometimes.” He glared at her, fearful that she scared Magnus off after they’d just met. Just yesterday, Alec was so sure that he made a good first impression and now his sister had accused his roommate of rape and murder.

 

“It’s fine. She was just worried,” Magnus shrugged. Izzy grinned and looked up to her brother. “I like him, he gets it.” Alec sighed and patted his sister’s shoulder, not approving but understanding.

This was typical. Isabelle had always been very protective of her siblings, just like Alec had been protective for her. If either of them was in trouble (meaning mostly Izzy or Jace), the other ones would try everything they could to help. Alec was more than grateful for his siblings, they helped him through a lot of hard times and he knew, being so close to one’s family is a privilege and not a given.

 

“Well, this has been a sufficiently awkward morning,” Magnus remarked with a smile. “Right…” Izzy began, “Oh I know! How about I invite you two for breakfast as an excuse?” Magnus looked at Alec and shrugged. He returned the look and then turned to his sister. “Fine, I guess we do have some catching up to do.”


	4. The Izzy-Factor

“So I told them that I was going on a trip with Clary and that was all they wanted to hear. Then I came here and well…you know the rest of the story.”

Alec had his face buried in his hands as his sister explained how she escaped their parents to come and see him. It was sort of touching that she’d go through such an ordeal, just to make sure Alec was alright, but then again, it was also kind of embarrassing.

 

The siblings and Magnus were sitting in an 80s inspired diner, a little of campus. The food wasn’t too bad, but the music and the strange costumes of the waitresses made up for that. If Magnus had his way, the costumes would be replaced by more ‘glittery’ stuff as he explained it.

 

“I love how you Lightwoods watch out for each other, it’s really cute,” Magnus said laughing. He seemed to be aware of how uncomfortable Alec was because of what happened earlier but he really didn’t care about it. Izzy wanted to make sure her brother was save and that’s a trait Magnus could appreciate in a human.

“If only you knew what things Alec had to do to keep me out of trouble,” Izzy snorted which made Magnus raise his eyebrows in an interested motion. “Okay!” Alec interrupted, “I think that’s a story for another time!” Magnus laughed at how flustered Alec suddenly was, he took a mental note to find out what Izzy meant another time – and also about the fact that Alec blushed easily in embarrassing situations, as he did right now.

 

“Anyway Izzy, how long are you staying?” Alec said, trying to change the subject as quickly as possible. “A few days, I’m not sure yet,” she shrugged. “Which reminds me! A friend of a friend told me about this frat party in a club nearby called Pandemonium. I’m going, which means I’m forcing you to go Alec, you should come too Magnus,” she continued and smiled brightly at the two. Alec looked up to see Magnus’ face also lit up. “Sure, I’m always down for a good party,” Magnus agreed. Alec internally groaned in disapproval, he really wasn’t a party-goer or drinker, but he didn’t want to seem like a buzzkill to Magnus already.

Alec looked at Izzy who was seemingly prepared to make her case, establishing why he needed to go and how she wouldn’t let him stay in his dorm room when he _clearly_ had nothing else to do. It was always like this, Izzy wanted to go somewhere, Alec didn’t so they fought about for about half an hour (and most of the time, Izzy would win). “Fine, I’m coming.”

 

“Oh Alec, don’t be like that, it’s your first frat party and…wait. What?!” Izzy looked at Alec with a confused expression. She clearly wasn’t expecting her brother to go down without a fight. “Am I dreaming?” she continued, looking at Magnus who was just as confused but for other reasons. “What? It’s not a big deal Izzy, get over yourself,” Alec commented.

“Not a big deal?! Alec you’ve never _ever_ agreed to go to a party without me having to drag you there! And you really didn’t drug him?” she said, glaring at Magnus.

 

Alec was about ready to die of embarrassment. Why did Izzy have to make him look like such a party pooper in front of his roommate? Luckily, Magnus simply laughed it off, he really didn’t care too much about it.

Soon after, he excused himself and went for the toilets, leaving Isabelle and Alec behind.

 

“Okay, spill. What’s this really about?” Izzy inquired as soon as Magnus was out of sight. "I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Alec replied a little too hastily for his sister to not notice that something was up. She grinned wickedly at him and Alec knew that he wasn’t getting out of this one so easily. “Fine. I just didn’t want to seem like a lame ass in front of Magnus when I’ve barely known him for a day,” Alec said. It was true, he didn’t want Magnus to think that he was boring.

“Yeah I get that, but there’s more to it,” Izzy continued, the grin on her face not faltering. Alec looked at her and furrowed his brows for a second before he realized what she was actually talking about.

 

“No. No way. Absolutely not. He’s my roommate Izzy! Stop giving me that look!” Alec cursed himself for blushing at his sister’s tacit accusation. “Come on Alec, Magnus is hot. Don’t pretend you haven’t noticed,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

Alec was at a loss for words – sure, Magnus was attractive, but that didn’t immediately mean he had a thing for him. Izzy would always jump to that conclusion when Alec was around a somewhat cute guy. She was one of the very few people that actually knew about Alec being gay. He told her about a year ago and he was glad that she didn’t care, but ever since, she made it her mission to set him up with a guy.

 

What Izzy didn’t know, is that Alec was not experienced whatsoever. He never had sex, he never even kissed anyone. He still knew that he was gay, there was no need for any physical contact to establish that, but if Izzy ever found out about the not-even-kissed-thing, she’d probably force Alec’s lips upon the very next stranger they would walk past.

 

Alec sighed, he wouldn’t get out of this conversation so easily. “Just because he’s somewhat attractive-“ “Somewhat?!” Izzy interrupted him, her eyes wide. Alec raised his hand dismissively and continued, “doesn’t mean I’m into him. And even if I _was_ , which I’m not, I wouldn’t even know if he’s interested in men.” Izzy looked at her brother in disbelief. “Alec, have you seen the man? He has glitter in his hair. _Glitter!_ ” she emphasized. Okay, she did have a point (though he didn’t like the stereotyping), Magnus was probably interested in men. “So what? You said it yourself, he’s attractive, so he probably has a girlfriend…or boyfriend, whatever,” Alec defended himself. Izzy was still giving him a disapproving look. “And even if he didn’t and even if _he_ would for some godforsaken reason be interested in _me_ that still wouldn’t mean that _I’m_ interested in _him._

 

“Alec, don’t put yourself down so much. You’re just as attractive as him,” Izzy said. “No I’m not,” Alec quickly interfered, causing his sister to smile and shake her head. “And you’re about the most likable person I know,” she continued, causing Alec to blush slightly and shake his head in return.

 

“What are we talking about?” Magnus inquired as he sat down at the table again. Neither Izzy nor Alec had even noticed that he was coming back. They looked at each other for a second, their eyes widening, before they replied in unison.

 

“Nothing.”


	5. Lightweight

After they left the diner, Isabelle left for her friend’s house where she was staying to get ready for the party. Magnus and Alec made their way back to the dorm in silence, Alec still felt awkward after the topics Izzy had brought up. When they got back to their room however, Magnus finally broke that fragile silence.

“Your sister seems nice, you’re very close, aren’t you?” Alec smiled to himself. “Yeah, we are. I don’t know what I’d do without her. She pulled me out of some really bad situations.” Magnus sensed some sort of tension in Alec, so he decided to not further go into what he meant by ‘bad situations’. Instead, he sighed and went to his dresser to pick out an outfit, while Alec got onto his bed and began to read.

 

After Magnus had picked out an outfit consisting of some colors Alec couldn’t even name, he got into the bathroom to get ready, which Alec assumed meant ‘doing makeup and spiking up hair’. He decided to put at least some effort into what he’d be wearing as well, instead of going with his usual black jeans and sweater (What? They’re comfy – don’t judge him!). So he put on a dark blue shirt, one of the few colored shirts he owned, and a pair of skinny jeans Izzy had gotten him before he left for college.

Soon after, Magnus came out of the bathroom, his hair up and makeup done – how he managed to do so in such a short amount of time was beyond Alec, Magnus was probably even faster than Izzy. He was wearing a pair of skinny jeans that left almost nothing to the imagination and a green tank top that had ‘Glitter is Life’ written on it in, you guessed it, glitter. Alec couldn’t help but admire Magnus’ fashion sense (and undeniably good figure) for a second before looking back at his book, which he had picked back up.

 

“Looking good Alexander,” Magnus said with a wink, causing Alec to blush slightly. “Uhm…thanks,” was all he could reply before a knock on the door interrupted him. It was Izzy, who was dressed up in a very, _very_ short, golden, skin tight dress. When he opened the door, Alec looked down at his sister and was about to protest. He was _not_ about to let his baby sister go out like that.

“Nice dress Isabelle,” Magnus said behind Alec’s back before he could rant to Izzy about her choice of clothing. Alec just grumbled and got his wallet, phone and keys, causing Izzy to giggle. “Thanks, you look good too,” she said, as she eyed Magnus’ outfit and raised a single eyebrow at Alec who tried to ignore her as best as he could.

 

The three decided to walk to the club, it wasn’t too far off campus and it was still warm outside. Magnus and Izzy were quickly engrossed in a conversation about the latest fashion trends. Alec couldn’t help but feel a little jealous as to how easy it was for Isabelle to keep up a conversation and make new friends. She and Magnus seemed to be getting along pretty well.

 

When they arrived at the club, the pounding music could already be heard from outside. Alec was not looking forward to getting inside, but Magnus and Izzy seemed more than eager, so he quickly followed them.

The room was packed full with people, some were dancing, some were drinking and some were making out excessively. The dancefloor was flooded by a crowd of people that moved with the beat of an obnoxiously loud song.

Soon after they entered, Alec lost sight of his companions but he didn’t mind all too much. They probably wandered off together and were dancing or something. He decided to make his way to a less crowded section of the club where he sat down at a bar. He ordered a beer and stared at it absentmindedly, occasionally taking a sip.

 

“Not your kind of party, hm?” the woman, who had served Alec’s drink asked him as she dried off a glass. She was pretty, her dark brown hair curled down to her shoulders. Alec couldn’t decide if she was just being nice, flirtatious or if she just tried to get a bigger tip out of him. Nevertheless, he just went along with it.

“No, not really,” he said, taking another sip of his beer. “Let me guess; your friends dragged you here and you’re trying to sit it out at the bar while they are out there doing god knows what.” She grinned at Alec, whose eyes went wide. He couldn’t help but grin himself. “How did you know that?” he asked curiously. The woman laughed, “My boyfriend’s just like that. I always drag him here but he just ends up sitting around the entire evening.” Alec laughed – okay, so she wasn’t flirting. That took some pressure off of him…maybe the alcohol was also helping. Alec wasn’t much of a drinker and pretty light weight when it came to his alcohol tolerance.

 

“I’m Maia by the way,” she said and extended a hand towards Alec. “Alec,” he replied, shaking her hand and smiling. The evening went on like this for a while, whenever Maia had a spare minute she’d come over to talk to Alec about pretty much anything. He found that the alcohol really helped with his social skills, though his words were beginning to slur and his vision became blurry at the edges.

Alec suddenly felt something warm on his shoulders, for a second he thought that someone might have thrown up on him. But this thought was quickly pushed aside when he turned to see that Magnus had sat down next to him with his hand on Alec’s shoulder.

 

“There you are, I haven’t seen you on the dancefloor,” Magnus shouted over the music. “Yeah…I don’t really dance,” Alec replied shrugging. Magnus chuckled, he immediately realized that Alec was slightly tipsy from the way he talked.

“Is this your roommate?” a voice from behind the bar asked. Magnus turned to face Maia who was grabbing Alec’s empty glass. “Yesss,” Alec said without looking up from the table. Magnus smiled at the girl politely, then raised an eyebrow at her. He couldn’t help but feel a little jealous, though he didn’t really know why.

“How much did he already have?” Magnus asked cautiously, trying to get his mind away from the jealous knot that was forming in his stomach. Maia scrunched her eyebrows. “Well, counting the glass I’m cleaning up right now…one beer.” Magnus couldn’t help but laugh out loud for a second, earning him an annoyed look from Alec. Magnus stuck out his tongue and winked at Alec, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Maia.

 

She leaned forward and whispered in Magnus’ ear, “Don’t worry, he’s all yours. But don’t try to make a move on him right now, he’s too drunk.” As she leaned back, she winked at Magnus and went to the other side of the bar to serve another costumer.

Magnus didn’t know if he should feel offended or thankful. He took a second to take a look at Alec, who was now watching the table again. He was attractive, there was no denying that. The outfit he wore right now did great things for his arms and chest. And those big hazel Bambi-eyes…Magnus wouldn’t lie, Alec was cute. But he didn’t really know him yet, he wasn’t even sure whether or not Alec was interested in men (Magnus’ gaydar wasn’t functioning properly at the moment), and after what happened with his last relationship only a few weeks ago – he definitely wasn’t ready for anything in the plains of romance (or anyone for that matter) yet. So he decided to put those thoughts away, to store them somewhere in the far back of his mind.

 

“Oh Magnus, I didn’t realize you’d be here,” a voice suddenly said from behind Magnus and Alec. To any other person, this voice could probably be described as smooth and sultry, but to Magnus it sounded like chalk on a blackboard.

 _Great_ , Magnus thought to himself, _just what I needed._

 

And with that, he turned around to face her.


	6. Unpleasant Surprise

Standing behind them was a gorgeous woman with (obviously) bleached, blonde hair. She was wearing a skin tight dress that barely covered anything, she might as well have been standing there in her underwear. She wore a smug smile and when Alec turned around to look at her, he immediately disliked her for that alone. She looked at Alec in disgust before turning to Magnus again. “Your new boytoy?” she asked, amused at her own question.

 

“What do you want Camille?” Magnus growled. His jaw was clenched and his hands tightened into fists. Even in his drunken state, Alec realized that the woman was making Magnus uncomfortable and angry, but he didn’t know why, which is why he decided to not say or do anything – yet.

 

“My, my, Magnus! No need to be so defensive. I just wanted to talk to for a bit,” the fake-blonde continued in a sultry voice. “Well I don’t want to talk to you Camille. Now get away from me,” Magnus replied, his voice deadly and his tense features still prominent. His answer simply caused the woman to chuckle, she held out one hand to touch Magnus’ cheek but he hit her wrist before she could do so.

“Don’t act like you haven’t missed me.” Camille was unfazed by Magnus and, by now, completely ignoring Alec who was still watching the scene. “I really haven’t.” Magnus gaze would have been enough to drive any sane person away in fear by this point, but Camille didn’t seem to mind.

“I can see that…” Instead she now turned her attention to Alec, who looked at Magnus for a second, unsure of what to do. “Listen up, he’s really not worth your time.” Then she turned to Magnus again.

 

“Leave him out of this,” Magnus warned her, causing her to erupt in a short laugh. “Oh please, you’re pathetic Bane. Why don’t you just go back home and cry into your mother’s lap?” Camille was stepping closer and put a finger on Magnus nose. He gulped, unable to say anything in return. “Oh, that’s right. You can’t. She’s gone.” The blonde’s smile seemed to be growing even wider and Alec thought that Magnus surely was about to either run of or smack some manners into her. But instead, when Alec looked at him, all he could see was despair and sorrow clouding his eyes. Magnus’ muscles were still tense but his lips were shivering and it seemed like tears were starting to well up. Camille was laughing eerily at the sight of the now broken man in front of her.

 

And that was when Alec couldn’t take any more of it. He sobered up almost instantly as he stood up and pushed himself between Magnus and Camille. Alec towered over the blonde and glared down at her. Both Magnus and Camille were petrified in shock when Alec began to speak, his slurry voice now completely clear again.

“Get lost bitch. He doesn’t need you or your stupid-ass remarks,” he hissed.

Magnus was caught off guard. He couldn’t remember the last time someone stood up for him like this. When he looked at Alec in shock and admiration, he saw something in his eyes that he’d seen only once before.

It was the same fierceness that Isabelle showed in the morning when she attacked him, the same protectiveness, the same ‘if you hurt him, you’re going to pay for it’-look. Camille was at least as baffled as Magnus was. Though her mouth was hanging open, she was completely unable to respond. She didn’t expect this drunk dude next to Magnus to speak down to her like that. Before she could form any coherent sentence, Alec had grabbed Magnus’ arm and pulled him off of his chair, leading him towards the exit.

 

“Come on, we’re leaving,” was all Alec said as he practically dragged Magnus out. Magnus was unable to complain or do anything for that matter. He was utterly stunned by Alec’s reaction and quick thinking.

Right before they reached the door, they were stopped by Izzy who also seemed a little tipsy (though not as much as Alec). She was grinning and still swinging her hips to the beat of the music. “Where are you going? It’s not even midnight!” she yelled as she grabbed her brother’s hand that wasn’t occupied with Magnus.

Alec turned to look at her, quickly pulling his hand away from her, his gaze was still deadly. As soon as the sibling’s eyes met, Izzy seemed to sober up as well. Her grin disappeared and she stood completely still, seemingly aware of what that look meant. “Magnus and I need to leave. I want you to get out soon as well, text me when you’re home,” Alec said, his voice still dangerously calm. Izzy simply nodded. She knew that Alec wasn’t scolding her right now, but he was concerned because he couldn’t keep an eye on her. Izzy didn’t know exactly what had happened, but she didn’t need to. All she had to know was that Alec and Magnus needed to leave because there somehow occurred a dangerous situation.

Izzy looked at Magnus for a second, who was still unsure about how he should feel at the moment. Then she turned away and went back into the crowd.

Magnus was amazed at how effortlessly the Lightwood siblings could communicate without even speaking. It was like Izzy immediately understood everything that Alec tried to convey to her in a matter of seconds. That was one of the reasons Magnus had always dreaded not having siblings. He thought he would never be able to have this sort of close relationship with anyone ever. But before he could hang onto that thought for too long, he was dragged out of the door by Alec and hit by the chilly air that had come with nightfall.


	7. No Filter

Magnus was still in shock. He couldn’t even think straight at the moment. A few moments ago he was being harassed by Camille and now, Alec was pulling him towards campus. He hadn’t let go since they left the club, he hadn’t stopped walking either. Magnus could tell that whatever had kept Alec sober was beginning to wear off. His steps were becoming unsteady and he had slowed down quite a bit.

 

Right on cue, Alec stopped. He let go of Magnus arm – who was missing the warm grip instantly – and sighed. “I’m sorry,” Alec said, his speech slurry again. Magnus blinked in confusion while Alec still wasn’t facing him, but the road ahead instead. “For what Alexander?” Magnus was surprised as to how calm his voice was when his mind was running completely wild. Alec turned around and scrunched his eyebrows. “I shouldn’t have dragged you out the club…I barely know you,” he said matter-of-factly as he turned around. Magnus blinked a few times. He couldn’t quite comprehend what Alec was trying to say, so it took him a second before he could respond. “Are you kidding me? I should thank you! You got me out of a very nasty situation with a very nasty girl…sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound so sexual,” Magnus babbled as Alec looked at him. “So you’re not mad?” Alec completely ignored the second part of Magnus’ speech. “What? Of course not. You were my knight in shining armor Alec.” This seemed to put Alec at ease somehow, his facial expression softened and he smiled slightly. “Come on, it’s cold. Let’s get going,” Magnus said as he pat Alec’s shoulder and moved again.

 

They walked for a while in comfortable silence, aside from the occasional crack of dried up leaves under their feet. Magnus realized that it took a lot of effort for Alec to walk straight, which he found absolutely hilarious, given that he barely drank anything.

“So who was she anyway? This…Camille,” Alec asked suddenly. Magnus swallowed and slowed down for a second. Alec quickly spun around and stared at him. “Sorry. You don’t have to answer that, I just…forget it. Sorry,” he quickly said as he turned around and started walking again. Magnus quickly caught up to him and fell in the same rhythm. “It’s alright, I should at least tell you that much,” Magnus began, earning him a sideway glance from Alec.

“Her name’s Camille Belcourt. She’s an ex-girlfriend of mine…We met in high school, we were together for quite a while and then she…” Magnus voice trailed off. It was still hard to think about what happened between them, but he felt like Alec deserved to know and, maybe, he could even understand.

 

“She cheated on me. Several times actually. When I found out, I was heartbroken, I really thought she was special.” Magnus stared of into the distance for a while before he continued. He was trying to fight back the tears he was about to shed because he knew, Camille didn’t deserve any more of those. “I loved her, and I thought she loved me. But it was all just a game for her, she never really cared. God I feel so stupid for ever trusting her,” Magnus said as a single tear rolled down his cheek. _Damn it!_ He really didn’t want to cry over her anymore and he didn’t really. He was now at the point where he was sad for the years he lost to her.

 

Alec saw the glinting of the tear rolling down Magnus’ face. Before his mind could stop his body, he reached out and cupped Magnus’ cheek with one hand, wiping away the tear with his thumb. Alec’s eyes widened as his mind caught up to what he’d just done. He quickly dropped his hand. “She doesn’t deserve your tears, you know? She’s a bitch for cheating and treating you badly,” Alec quickly said, looking to the ground with a slight blush that he hoped wasn’t visible in the dark.

Magnus smiled at him. He loved how Alec’s hand felt on his face – like there was someone with him, like he wasn’t alone, like everything would be alright.

 

They continued to walk and Alec, feeling awkward because of the whole hand-to-face situation, and because Magnus hadn’t said anything about it, tried to get his and Magnus’ mind off of it. “So…did you have many girlfriends in school?” Again, Alec spoke before his mind caught up. He immediately scolded himself for such an intrusive question. Luckily for him, Magnus just laughed and answered. “A few girlfriends, a few boyfriends. Nothing too serious though.” Alec’s eyes widened and he almost choked on air. “Boyfriends? Oh…Oh! Uhm, sorry I mean…that’s cool. I don’t…uh, so you’re not straight?” Alec said hastily. Soon after, his mind applauded him for what must’ve been the most awkward string of words he had ever uttered.

Magnus simply chuckled at how flustered Alec was. “I’m about as straight as a circle,” he said.

Alec couldn’t help but snort at that comment. “Not bad, I’ll try to use that one sometime.” Magnus stopped for a second after he heard what Alec had said. Alec soon stood still as well. _Shit._ He cursed his drunken self for the lack of a filter he put before anything he said.

“Did you just accidentally come out to me?” Magnus inquired, his voice hiding amusement. Alec scratched his neck nervously. “Uh…I guess that just happened. Yes,” he said, not able to look directly at the other man.

Magnus quickly walked up to Alec and pat him on the shoulder encouragingly. “Well, I think it’s obvious that I don’t care.” Though Alec didn’t expect anything else from Magnus after he basically just came out himself, he was still relieved at his statement.

 

“Right I, uh…not many people know, so…” Alec was blushing again. Magnus couldn’t help but laugh at this sight – did Alec really think he was going to judge him? There must’ve been some underlying drama that Magnus didn’t know of, but he wouldn’t push it right now. Instead, Magnus brought a hand to Alec’s face and brushed over his cheek lightly while smiling. “You are too precious for your own good Alec,” Magnus said. Alec almost blacked out at the soft, warm touch of Magnus hand – maybe the alcohol also played a part in that though.

 

The two made their way back to their room, and soon collapsed on their beds, drifting off into sleep.


	8. Crashing

Waking up the next morning was not a pleasant experience. When Alec slowly opened his eyes, it was already bright outside. He felt groggy, his head was pounding and his limbs were exhausted. He blinked a few times to force the lingering tiredness away.

“Good morning sunshine,” a melodic voice said from across the room. Alec turned around to see Magnus, sitting on his bed with a camera in his hands. “Mornin’,” he replied, rubbing his eyes. “What happened? I feel like I’ve been punched in the face…” Magnus bit his lip and looked at Alec for a moment. “How much do you remember?”

“We were in the club…I was sitting at the bar, then you came…” Alec scrunched his eyebrows for a second. “Then this blonde bimbo harassed you…Camille right?” Magnus nodded. “And then I…I dragged you out, we walked back to campus and you told me what a bitch this Camille is…” Magnus nodded again. He seemed to be waiting for more but Alec’s memories were blurry after that. “I think you forgot something,” Magnus said. Alec looked at him in confusion, he really didn’t remember anything else. Did he say something stupid? He wouldn’t put it past his drunken self. “Two words,” Magnus began, “straight circle.” _Oh right._ Alec slapped his forehead (which he immediately regretted due to his forming headache). Magnus chuckled at the gesture and started looking through, what Alec assumed to be, photos on his camera.

 

When he sat up, Alec realized that he was still wearing his clothes from yesterday, he felt sweaty and disgusting, so he decided to take a quick shower and change into something more comfortable, namely, less tight jeans and a less tight shirt.

 

Magnus may have been staring at some of his old pictures, but his mind was really somewhere else. He’d been thinking a lot about what happened the evening before, he could barely sleep because of it. He thought about the way Alec stood up for him. That never happened. Even now, just remembering made his heart skip a beat. Alec was so kind and caring…and damn, was he attractive. Those beautiful eyes, that brilliant smile that lit up his entire face…Magnus tried as best as he could to push those thoughts away. He just met Alec and he didn’t want to scare him of, he was too special. So all Magnus could do at the moment was keeping this few memories the two had shared in his heart.

 

When Alec stepped out of the bathroom, Magnus was still fixed on his camera, but he looked up for a moment when he heard Alec. “Do you regret telling me?” he asked, searching Alec’s face. Alec, in turn, looked at Magnus. “No, I don’t think so,” he concluded.

The two shared a smile for a second before Magnus put his camera into a bag. “I was about to head out to take some photos of the campus…do you want to come along?” he offered. Alec thought about it for a second, he really didn’t have much to do otherwise so he agreed.

 

The campus really was beautiful. There were huge fields of grass on which some trees were placed, seemingly without a certain pattern. Fall was always Magnus’ favorite season, he loved the colors in the trees, the days weren’t too cold or too warm, the air carried this earthy scent that no one could ever really describe or reproduce, and (though Magnus hated to admit it) it was the season for pumpkin-spiced latte’s.

Alec followed him around, watching intently as Magnus would sometimes halt, pull his camera out and take a picture. Alec noticed how Magnus’ would always hunch his body, almost like he was striking a pose for a photo himself. The skin around his eyes would crinkle and when he was done and happy with the picture, a smile would always appear on his face.

Alec knew that look pretty well, it was a look of accomplishment and passion. Izzy always pointed out how he’d look similar whenever he was happy with something that he wrote. He was glad that Magnus had something that made him so happy as well, Alec hoped it would take his mind off of what Camille had said yesterday. Though he didn’t specifically tell Magnus, Alec remembered what she said about his mother but he didn’t want to press a sensitive subject. He just cursed the blonde for making Magnus feel bad. Alec wanted nothing more than to make Magnus feel happy, like in the moments when he took pictures – his face would light up and so would Alec’s.

 

This was probably the moment when Alec realized that he was starting to develop a crush on his roommate. He’d only known Magnus for 2 days so it wasn’t anything serious, but there was definitely something there. If he got drunk again, maybe he could muster up the courage to ask Magnus out, but for now, Alec was happy to just follow the gorgeous man around and observe him. If Magnus didn’t feel the same way, this whole crushing thing could become very weird very quickly.

Magnus took a look at the last picture he took. It showed a tree with some leaves swirling around it while a gust of wind blew through it. He loved it when he could capture such fragile moments on camera. He was about to show the picture to Alec when he caught him staring at him. Magnus couldn’t help but smile a little, Alec didn’t even realize that he’d been caught. “Normally I’d say something like ‘take a picture, it’ll last longer’, but that seems more like a bad pun at the moment,” Magnus remarked playfully. Alec seemingly snapped out of his trance and shook his head before replying. “Sorry, I uh…I was just thinking about something.” “Good things I take it? You were smiling like a dork,” Magnus countered. He truly wasn’t sure what Alec had been thinking about. He wanted it to be him, but he wasn’t sure. Alec just smiled again before looking at the ground. “You could say that.”


	9. What Friends are for

The week flew by quickly and before he knew it, Alec was sitting in his first courses, trying desperately to pay attention to what his professors were telling him. Though he and Magnus rarely saw each other during class, they spent some evenings and breaks between courses together. Today however, Magnus had already declared that he would come home late because some of his old friends from London were visiting and he’d spent a night out with them. This didn’t bother Alec too much though, it would give him time to work on an assignment he’d gotten – an essay concerned with an emotion. A very open-to-interpretation topic, but he could make it work somehow. He wasn’t quite sure what he was going to write about, so after his last class of the day, he took a notepad, some headphones, said his goodbyes to Magnus, who was just heading out, and went to the library to start his work. Alec chose a random playlist and let some songs play, taking notes occasionally. Music usually got him started and today wouldn’t be any different.

 

Magnus was waiting impatiently in front of his dorm, where his friends said they’d pick him up. He was excited to meet them again, it had been a few months since they last saw each other. And they certainly would have a lot to talk about. Finally, a group of three people made their way towards Magnus and as soon as he saw them, a wide grin appeared on his face.

 “There you are Bane!” the first one, Will, exclaimed. He was a tall man with dark hair and blue eyes, he somehow resembled Alec in the slightest bit. “I told you we should’ve turned right at the last crossroad,” a second man, Jem, said, shaking his head. His hair was light-gray, a remnant of a fight with cancer, but his face exuded kindness. The last one of them, Tessa, just walked beside them, trying her best to ignore the bickering men. “Good to see you Magnus,” she said as she embraced him. She had brown hair and strikingly grey eyes, which almost resembled Jem’s hair. “Good to see you’re all still alive and fighting each other,” Magnus replied, his smile growing even wider as Will protested.

 

The four decided on a bar a little further away, Magnus didn’t want to run into Camille by accident again. After they’d settled down and ordered drinks, they started to exchange stories of recent events. Magnus’ old friends told him how they all got jobs and were now thinking of purchasing a house together. Their relationship was a…complicated one. No one really knew if or how all of them were involved romantically. Magnus had given up on understanding this kind-of-threeway-relationship long ago, it had always given him a headache to think about how they all were in love with each other but not really…

 

“There you go sweetie,” a waitress said as she winked and sat down Magnus’ drink in front of him. “Thanks,” he simply replied before taking a sip, earning him confused looks from all three of his companions.

“Magnus? Are you okay?” Tessa asked with a concerned tone. Magnus looked at her in confusion. “Yes, why do you ask?” Jem and Tessa shared a strange look while Will explained, “She was flirting with you. And you didn’t…you didn’t do anything!” “So?” Magnus countered, not really sure what they were hinting at. “’So’? Magnus, you never _ever_ let an opportunity to flirt with _anyone_ pass by. And this girl was making it so obvious that she was interested in you!” Will practically yelled. “Are you saying that I’m a man-whore?” Magnus asked, almost offended by Will’s statement – though he know it was true. “Well…yes,” Jem began in a calming voice, “but I think what Will’s trying to say is…The only times when you don’t flirt is when you’re in a relationship, and even then you can’t always hold back.” Magnus blinked a few times. “Do you need to tell us something?” Tessa inquired, raising a single eyebrow. Magnus shook his head dismissively, “I’m not in a relationship if that’s what you’re asking. You three would’ve been the first ones to know.” “Well, then what is it? I can see that you are thinking about something,” Tessa continued, crossing her arms in front of her.

 

She was right, Magnus was thinking – had he really been acting differently? Not that he thought about it, he felt different. Ever since he moved in with Alec, things had been so…new and strange. Magnus couldn’t point out exactly what it was. But maybe now was the time to actually talk about it, maybe his friends could help him sort out the ever-growing mess in his head.

 

“I guess…there is someone,” Magnus began, his voice trailing off in the end. “Yes?” Tessa asked, urging Magnus to continue. His old friends were all leaning forward, their eyes burning holes into his face, while Magnus was biting his lip nervously. “It’s…he’s my roommate, Alec.” Then there was silence for a moment.

“Magnus, you can’t just fuck your roommate. After things go south you’ll still have to see him every day!” Will stated matter-of-factly. Magnus rolled his eyes; of course he wasn’t just going to use Alec for a one night stand. He actually liked him…maybe a little bit too much.

“It’s not like that Will. He’s different, he’s…special,” Magnus said, avoiding the other one’s eyes. Will just shook his head and leaned back in his char. “What do you mean exactly? How is he different?” Ah, Magnus could always count on Jem to at least _try_ and make sense of what he was saying. “I don’t know…he’s sweet, he’s innocent, he’s smart, he’s beautiful, he’s just…him,” Magnus said, earning an understanding nod from Jem, while Tessa’s eyes widened. “Oh my god, you just complimented him three times before even mentioning his looks. Magnus…are you in love?” she asked bluntly. Will and Jem sent her questioning looks but they seemed to understand. Magnus on the other hand almost choked on his drink. “What? Me? Love?! Pff…I  don’t…no…I barely know him…what are you…no. I mean – what? We haven’t even kissed or anything! He…I mean we…we never talked about…I don’t even know if…if he’s interested.” Jem and Tessa grinned wickedly while Will erupted into loud laughter at how flustered Magnus suddenly was. Maybe they knew something Magnus didn’t yet.

 

Annoyed at his own confusion, which was highly unlike him, Magnus decided to drown his thoughts in alcohol while his friends teased him mercilessly about his sweet, sweet roommate.


	10. Midnight Decisions

The evening went on for a while like this. Tessa and Jem were trying to get as much information about Alec out of Magnus as they could, while Will was constantly making fun of Magnus for being so sappy and emotional. Way too many drinks later, they said their goodbyes. Magnus promised to introduce the three to Alec soon, if the opportunity arose. Content with this statement, Tessa, Will and Jem made their way back to their hotel while Magnus took a cab back to campus. He was definitely too drunk to walk the whole way, but sober enough to find his room.

“Alec? You home yet?” Magnus called out as he entered. He tried his best to at least sound sober and responsible, but when no one answered, he simply assumed that Alec was still out working on his project, so Magnus decided to lie down and sleep. The taunts and strange looks of his friends were still floating around in his head and he couldn’t wait to escape into dreamland.

 

It had gotten late for Alec as well. He spent as much time as he could in the library before they closed for the day. Afterwards he made his way to the coffee shop he and Magnus went to on their first day here. Conveniently, it was open for a few more hours. (The waitress told Alec that a lot of students would come there late to work on projects or papers and it was actually lucrative to be open for so long.)

Alec was chewing his pencil and looked over his notes for what felt like the 100th time. He still hadn’t even decided what he should write about. The more he thought about it, the more ridiculous this assignment sounded. What’s even considered to be an emotion? If he didn’t even fully understand what he was writing about, how was he supposed to start? Just when Alec was about ready to give up for the day and head home, it hit him.

Why not just write exactly about that? About something you can’t really understand or explain, if you’re not feeling it. Maybe emotions aren’t supposed to work the same way for everyone. No one except yourself knows whether what you’re feeling is really there or not.

The more Alec thought about this idea, the more he liked it. He still would have to decide on one emotion to focus on, but he could do that later on. For now, he continued to write his thoughts down in a first draft and when he was done, he finally felt like he had at least accomplished something this day.

 

Right when he was done, the waitress informed him that they’d be closing soon, so Alec packed his stuff and headed back to his dorm. On his way, he was smiling the entire time, happy to finally have worked something out that he could use.

When he looked at his watch, Alec realized how late it had actually gotten, suddenly his body felt tired as well. He’d been working for hours. Alec wondered if Magnus would be home already or if he was still out with his friends. They hadn’t seen each other in a long time so they probably would have a lot of catching up to do.

When he made it back to their room, Alec didn’t even bother to change out of his clothes or brush his teeth. All he could think of was his aching head and body, compelling him to finally get some rest. He flung his notes on his table, kicked off his shoes and sat on his bed for a moment. When he looked over at Magnus’ bed, he realized that it was empty, so he was probably still out. Alec sighed and finally lay down.

Just when Alec was about to fall asleep, he felt something warm on his neck. He blinked a few times, trying to figure out what it was. It almost felt like…breathing? A million thoughts suddenly filled his brain – was there a serial killer behind him? Or had Izzy broken in? Before Alec could react, he felt something around his waist clinging onto him and a warm, firm body pressed to his back. Alec jumped in surprise, falling out of his bed and hitting the floor with a loud thump. Rubbing his eyes, he turned around to finally see what, or rather who, had snuck into his bed. What he wasn’t expecting, was to see Magnus lying in his bed.

Before Alec could form any coherent sentence, Magnus began to speak. “Nooooo…come baaack. So warm…” His voice was drifting off, as if he was talking in his sleep and Alec could smell the alcohol in Magnus breath immediately.

 

He couldn’t help but laugh out loud for a second, sinking his head onto the floor, while he watched the other man getting comfortable in his bed. Alec tried to calm down in order to not wake Magnus up. He seemed so relaxed and at peace that Alec couldn’t bear to wake him and tell him to get to his own bed. Instead, he pulled the covers up to his neck and took a look at the sleeping form in front of him. “You are a class act Magnus Bane,” he said, shaking his head and placing a soft kiss on the other one’s hair.

What Alec couldn’t see as he made his way over to the other bed to sleep in there, was the bright smile spreading on Magnus’ face as he nuzzled into his blanket and sighed in content.


	11. Something's Off

Magnus was ripped out of his sleep by the early sunrays shining through the window. His pounding head told the story of the prior evening. Magnus could barely remember how he was out with his friend and then went back to his dorm. Everything in between was a blurry mess of random images. He couldn’t even know whether they were real or a product of his fantasy.

Unwilling to get up just yet, Magnus turned around, sinking his face into his pillow and inhaling deeply. The scent of something Magnus couldn’t quite place filled his nose. It smelt nice; spicy yet sweet – manly, if you could say that about a smell. Then Magnus slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few times. This wasn’t the smell of his own cologne. This smelt nothing like him. Did he – oh god, had Magnus brought someone with him to his room? What would Alec think! Magnus couldn’t even remember half of what he’d done the previous evening. Right as panic started to rise in his stomach, Magnus sat up and took a look around the room. That’s when he realized that something was off. The room felt…different. Everything seemed so out of place.

Magnus gasped when he finally realized what was going on. He wasn’t in his own bed, he was in Alec’s. Struggling to quickly disentangle himself from the bedsheets, he fell to the ground, hitting his back. As Magnus groaned from his slightly painful fall, the door to the bathroom opened and suddenly all of Magnus’ thoughts were pushed aside and instead the sight in front of him occupied his mind. Standing there, covered up by nothing but a towel around his waist, was Alec. His hair was damp, giving away that he just showered. Magnus couldn’t help but let his gaze roam over the other man’s body. If only he had his camera with him right now…Alec was tall and had a beautiful face, his muscular chest and arms complimented that. He had some dark hair on his chest and as Magnus gaze traveled south over Alec’s prominent abs, he finally settled on a patch of hair under his navel, leading down towards…

Magnus shook his head, trying to pull his attention away from Alec’s body and instead look at his face. Alec looked back at him with a concerned expression. “Are you alright? Sounded like you fell down.” It took Magnus a second to respond. He was absolutely flustered and though he had tried to push his obvious feelings for Alec away for the moment, the sight in front of him made that very, _very_ difficult.

“Yeah…yeah, I’m fine. I was just…I was surprised that I wasn’t…in my own bed.” Magnus cringed at his own speech; that definitely sounded wrong. “Believe me, so was I,” Alec snorted. “Sorry, my drunk self has no regards for ownership of beds…” Magnus tried to play his nerves off with jokes and it seemed to be working as Alec laughed. “No problem, I think I should apologize. I almost crushed you when I came home yesterday,” Alec said shrugging.

The thought of sharing a bed with Alec was something Magnus would love to spend more time on but in this moment he was simply embarrassed by his own actions, even though Alec really didn’t seem to mind.

“Well, let me make it up to you. I’ll go out and grab us some breakfast, how does that sound?” Magnus asked, returning to his more confident and playful self. Alec raised a single eyebrow and looked at the watch standing on his desk. “More like lunch, but whatever you feel like is fine,” he said. Magnus also looked at the watch, it was almost noon. “Lunch it is,” he concluded, quickly grabbing a jacket and his wallet before heading out.

 

Alec was left standing in their room, shaking his head and laughing to himself. It seemed so unlike Magnus to become so flustered, Alec couldn’t help but wonder what caused this. That was when he realized that he had been standing there half-naked the entire time. His eyes widened at this realization – he wasn’t even thinking, he heard the sound when Magnus fell down and went to see if he was alright. His appearance probably made Magnus uncomfortable and that was why he became so flustered.

Alec blushed slightly and covered his face in embarrassment. Magnus probably wasn’t interested in him whatsoever, at least that’s what Alec concluded, judging by the other man’s reaction. This whole situation was becoming way too confusing, Alec wouldn’t survive the semester like this.

 

This would have been an ideal time for Izzy to show up and try to make sense of all that Alec was feeling. She had a talent for that, she even helped him figure out that he was gay. But Izzy would be tied up in school work at the moment and Alec couldn’t wait any longer, he needed to talk to someone about this whole mess.

He took out his phone and scrolled through his contacts, when a fairly new name caught his attention. Maia, the girl he met when he went out with Izzy and Magnus. They had been texting for a while and became friends after what happened with Camille. Maia told Alec how the girl just stood there for a good five minutes after he told her off and she congratulated him for ‘being a badass’. Alec smiled to himself, maybe she could help him work this out.


	12. Time to Talk

After Magnus returned with some Chinese food, both he and Alec enjoyed their meals in silence. Neither of them wanted to bring up what happened that morning if they didn’t have to. Magnus was still ashamed of his behavior, which was very unlike him. Normally, he’d have laughed it off and continued on with his day. But somehow, the fear of having embarrassed himself in front of Alec was gripping him tightly. Magnus didn’t understand how his roommate could have such a hold of him without even knowing it. He was barely able to function on a day to day basis, his thoughts were filled with images of Alec and became so more and more every day. Even in his dreams, Magnus saw those beautiful eyes and the most wonderful smile that could light up an entire room. Every second that Magnus spent with Alec in which he couldn’t kiss him, let his hands roam over the other man’s body, and hold him tight were pure torture. It took all of Magnus’ willpower to not keep staring at Alec and he was getting seriously tired of it. He couldn’t deal with this much longer, it seemed like there was nothing and no one else on his mind besides Alec.

After they were finished with their meals, Alec excused himself to go out for his paper again. Magnus stayed behind, he wasn’t sure how he’d spend his day.

 

Alec had texted Maia earlier and they agreed to meet in a coffee shop on campus.

“Hey there, how’s it going?” Maia greeted Alec as he entered the shop, pulling him into a quick hug. “I’m…fine. I guess,” Alec replied, shrugging. “So there’s something wrong, I figured as much. Come on, sit down, let’s talk.” Alec knew it was useless to try and hide his problems from Maia, after all he’d met up with her to discuss them. But for as long as he could, Alec wanted to ignore his situation and just pretend that everything was fine.

They sat in silence while waiting for their orders to arrive, Maia eyed Alec carefully, trying to figure out what was going on. “You know you’re gonna have to talk someday if you want me to help you, right?” she finally urged. Alec shifted uncomfortably on his chair, not able to look back at Maia. “Let’s say there is someone I like,” Alec begun. Maia was suddenly leaning forward and showed much interest in the topic. “Yes?” “Let’s say this someone is living with me at the moment…” Alec continued. Maia’s eyes widened and she had to suppress a squeal. “Alec! Really? What’re you going to do? Will you ask him out?” Alec was uncomfortable with the sudden bombardment of questions. “That’s the problem. I don’t know if he likes me as more than a friend…and if I ask him out and he declines, things will get super awkward because we’ll still be living together. Hell, I’m not even sure if _I_ like _him_.” Alec sighed, it was already helpful to just address his problems.

Maia scrunched her eyebrows. “But if you do nothing, things will still be awkward, at least for you. Maybe you just need to take a step towards him to figure out what you’re feeling,” she concluded. “I guess, but…” Alec couldn’t think of another argument right away. Instead he just sat there and rubbed his temples. “Listen, my high school self would probably tell you to come up with an unnecessarily complicated plan to try and get Magnus to ask you out. My responsible college self however would advise you to just go for it, ask him out or something. Seriously Alec, sometimes you just need to take a chance,” Maia said with an encouraging smile.

 

Maybe she was right. Maybe Alec just needed to leap into the unknown and hope for the best. Unfortunately, he was not much of a risk-taker. Maia seemed to be noticing Alec’s inner turmoil and took hold of his hand and squeezed it. “Listen, if you don’t feel like telling him, then don’t. But I really think you’d feel better afterwards.” Alec smiled weakly. “I know you’re right, I just…I need to think this through. Maybe I’ll just talk to him and see where that leads.”

The two spent the rest of the afternoon in the coffee shop, talking about nothing in particular. When Maia had to leave for work, Alec also headed back home. Though it did feel nice to address his issues, he still wasn’t sure what he was going to do about them. Before he knew it, he was in front of his dorm room.

 

Magnus had spent his day sitting around and sulking. He knew that he had to talk to Alec. He kept changing his mind between finally confessing his feelings to Alec and keeping them to himself in fear of the awkwardness that would inevitably ensue if Alec didn’t feel the same way.

Magnus was about ready to have a nervous breakdown when he heard footsteps coming towards the door. When Alec finally opened it, all of Magnus thoughts were blown away.

The other man looked…horrible, as if he was ready to start crying any second. Magnus wanted nothing more than to punch whoever made Alec feel like this. He wanted to tell Alec that everything would be fine, he wanted to talk to him, he wanted to make sure Alec would feel better.

Magnus didn’t even bother to greet Alec. He just said the first thing that came to his mind.

“Is everything alright?”


	13. I've been Waiting

Alec sighed as he entered his room. “Is everything alright?” Magnus was looking at Alec with concern. Alec didn’t realize how miserable he looked, but for Magnus it was unbearable to see him like that. “Yeah, I’m fine,” Alec lied. “I just…” Alec sighed again, “Can I talk to you about something?” Magnus still stared at him, but finally patted the space on his bed next to where he was seated at the moment. Alec reluctantly made his way over and sat down.

 

“You know that I’m not good at the whole…romance thing,” Alec begun. Immediately, Magnus’ interest piqued, he leant towards him. “I remember you mentioning something along those lines,” Magnus said. Alec rubbed his neck and looked to the floor. More than anything else in the world, Magnus wanted those beautiful brown eyes to meet his own right now so he could try and decipher what was going on in Alec’s mind. “I’m new to all this so…I guess I have a crush on someone.” Magnus’ eyes widened – was there a chance? He swallowed before he asked, “Really? Who is it?” Alec opened his mouth as to answer but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Instead, he sighed and began to shift uncomfortably.

“It doesn’t matter who it is. I’m just wondering…you know…how do I know if he likes me as well?” Alec inquired, avoiding Magnus’ question. Magnus bit his lip and looked down as well. “That’s tricky. Does he flirt with you? Does he show affection towards you?” Magnus wanted to be the one Alec was talking about, but he also didn’t want to scare Alec off in case he wasn’t talking about him. “I don’t know…I mean, I wouldn’t know. I never…” Alec shrugged as his voice trailed off, finally he let out a sharp breath. “I never had a boyfriend, I’ve never been on a proper date, I haven’t even had my freakin’ first kiss…I’m a disaster Magnus. I feel like a kid trapped in an adult’s body,” Alec sighed as he threw his head back, frustrated with himself. Magnus gulped. This was not playing out like he hoped it would.

“There is nothing wrong with you Alexander,” Magnus said, trying to calm the other man. He put a hand on Alec’s shoulder and could feel him flinch at the contact, but eventually give in and let himself be touched. Alec buried his face in his palms. “Listen,” Magnus begun, “maybe it’s time for you to take the initiative. Just make the first move. And if whoever you’re crushing on doesn’t feel the same way, you just talk it out…or avoid him…or call your sister, she’ll probably punch him till he forgets all about it.” His last statement earned Magnus a soft chuckle from Alec. “But if you don’t even try, you’ll never find out if something’s there.”

Alec finally brought his head up again. He turned to face Magnus, who was smiling encouragingly at him. Alec bit his lip, debating what to do, as his eyes locked with Magnus’.

It was in this moment that Alec finally made his decision. Seeing those beautiful eyes staring back at him, Alec swallowed hard before he slowly leant forward. He stopped a few inches in front of Magnus’ face, looking down at his lips briefly as if to ask whether what he was doing was alright. Magnus, who could barely restrain himself at this point, smiled and kept his eyes on Alec’s as he also began to lean forward.

After what felt like hours, their lips finally met. Alec closed his eyes and pressed his lips softly against Magnus’, unsure of what else to do. Magnus returned the gesture but slowly took the lead, beginning to move his lips against Alec’s, who mirrored those movements. Magnus took hold of Alec’s hand, brushing over his knuckles softly as they continued like this for a while.

When Alec finally pulled away, he opened his eyes again. His vision was blurry but seemed so much brighter than ever before. He was staring down into Magnus’ eyes, which seemed to be glowing more intense than ever and Alec couldn’t help but smile sheepishly. “So I guess the guy I have a crush on kinda likes me as well,” he began, earning himself a laugh from Magnus, “but what should I do next?” Magnus grinned widely. “I think you should probably ask him out…and you should also kiss him again, just to be sure,” he replied playfully. “I guess I’ll try that. So, Magnus, would you like to…go out with me sometime?” Magnus grinned as he leant closer again, “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear that.”

 

Their lips met again, this time with more passion and fire. Alec copied Magnus’ moves and felt a fire burning inside his chest. When Magnus tongue suddenly teased Alec’s bottom lip, he couldn’t help but gasp, allowing Magnus to slip into his mouth and explore it. Their tongues played against each other, dancing around in what felt like the most elegant way possible. Alec finally moved his hand to cup Magnus’ cheek, earning a soft moan from the other man.

Regrettably, oxygen is essential for survival, so the two had to break apart eventually. They stayed next to each other for a few minutes, leaning their heads together and panting. Finally, Magnus pulled away after pressing a short, soft kiss on the edge of Alec’s mouth. “I’ll grab us some dinner.” Alec smiled at Magnus, knowing that their friendship and the rituals they had developed for the past week hadn’t changed. With this, he felt at peace, at least for now, and he simply nodded and let Magnus go.


	14. Sisterly Instinct

Alec remained on Magnus’ bed for a while, processing what had just happened. He was brimming with joy, excited for what’s to come. He couldn’t help but smile stupidly to himself and trailing his finger over his lips where he could still feel the touch of Magnus’ soft skin. If he knew how right this felt, Alec would’ve kissed Magnus long ago.

Alec decided to text Maia to let her know that she gave pretty damn good advice. She responded almost instantly with a unnecessary amount of heart-eye emojis, demanding a coffee sometime later this week as repayment – and also because she wanted the whole story.

Right as Alec was about to throw his phone on his desk and grab a book, it began to rang. This was strange, no one ever called him, except maybe on his birthday. When Alec looked at the caller ID he was surprised to see the name of his sister on the screen. Confused and slightly worried, he answered the call.

“Hey Iz, what’s up?” “Oh nothing really Alec, I just wanted to see how you’re doing,” she simply replied. But Alec knew his sister too well, he knew that she had a reason to call him. “Izzy, I swear, if you set the kitchen on fire again…” Alec was quickly interrupted by an offended gasp from his sister. “I did no such thing!” “Then why are you actually calling me?” Alec could hear her grumble. “Fine. My Izzy-senses were tingling. I thought something might be up.” Alec’s mouth was hanging open. There was no way she could know what had just happened. “Izzy, did you _actually_ install a security camera in my room? Are you watching me?” Alec asked, only half-joking as he looked around and scanned the corners of his room. His sister snorted at that remark. “I’m not watching you, but I was right, wasn’t I? Something is up! Come on, spill brother,” she demanded suddenly. Though Alec was still not certain that she wasn’t somehow watching him, he decided she should know what had happened.

 

“Well, I sort of made out with my roommate,” Alec said, his voice shaky – not because he regretted what he’d done, but because he was still so excited about it and talking about it made him remember the featherlike touches of Magnus’ lips. He couldn’t help but blush slightly as Izzy screamed through her phone. “Oh my god! Ohmygod Alec! Are you serious?? You made out with Magnus? I knew there was a spark between you two!” she exclaimed victoriously. “Are you official? I need to meet him properly!” Alec sighed, maybe telling his sister was not the best idea after all. “No Izzy, we’re still figuring this out…and you already met him, remember? You threatened him because you thought he drugged me,” Alec reminded her. “Pff, whatever. But still, I’m so happy for you Alec!” That was all Alec needed to hear from her. He smiled as the door to his room opened and Magnus strolled in with takeout in his hands.

“I need to go Izzy, Magnus just got back with dinner,” Alec said, smiling at his roommate. “Wait! Let me talk to him for a sec!” Izzy interrupted him before he could hang up. “I uh…don’t think that’s a good idea…” Alec replied as Magnus eyed him with amusement. “I’m not going to accuse him of drugging you again, I promise. I just want to let him know that I approve!” Izzy stated. If Alec didn’t let her talk to Magnus right now she would just call him over and over again till he finally gave in. Sighing, he held his phone away from his ear and covered the speaker so Izzy couldn’t hear him.

“It’s my sister…she’d like to talk to you for a minute,” Alec said, giving Magnus an apologetic look. The other man grinned and took his phone quickly. “Hello Isabelle, how can I help you?” Magnus was staring at Alec, who nervously bit his lip, the entire time he was talking to his sister. “Magnus! I heard you two finally got it together! I just wanted to let you know that I’m happy for you,” Izzy replied joyous. Magnus smiled brightly. “Why, thank you. How kind of…” Magnus was quickly interrupted by the young Lightwood. “But if you just plan on using Alec for a one-night-stand kind of thing, if you hurt him in any way, shape or form, if you’re not serious about him, I _will_ hurt you. He’s sensitive and he deserves to be happy.”

Magnus’ smile slipped for a second, but he regained his composure fast enough for Alec not to worry. With a half-decent fake smile Magnus replied, “Noted. Also; I’m not planning on just using your brother. I actually really, really like him.” His words earned him a blush and smile from Alec. “Good. Then we’re clear,” Izzy replied, her voice returning to a happy tone, “See you around Bane!” And just like that, she hung up.

Magnus was not quite sure what to think about his talk with Izzy. Alec grabbed his phone and looked at Magnus with a worried expression. “I’m so sorry for her behavior. I hope she didn’t say anything awful…” Alec said nervously. Magnus laughed it off and placed a soft kiss on Alec’s cheek. “Nothing too bad.”

Alec sighed contently and pulled Magnus into a hug for no specific reason, other than, he could. He could finally hold him close and hold onto him. Magnus pulled away slightly, locking his eyes with Alec’s. He knew exactly what Alec was feeling, as he was feeling the exact same things. In this very moment, Magnus was so happy, he could cry. Seeing as this would probably worry Alec however, he decided to kiss him instead.

Alec was shocked at the burning sensation of Magnus’ lips. He didn’t think he could ever feel something as electric and erratic as their first kiss, but this felt at least as good, if not better. It wasn’t a lust-driven, passionate kiss, it was soft, slow and sweet, yet it set the chests of both men on fire.

If this was what all their kisses would feel like, Alec would be sure to take advantage of that as much as he possibly could – Magnus would always be happy to oblige.

 


	15. Home

Alec and Magnus finally settled down and ate their dinner. It was still in a friendly atmosphere, but now and then they would simply stare at the other when he wasn’t paying attention. It was a fun little game they both enjoyed. When they were both finished, Magnus set his plate aside and turned to Alec with a meaningful look.

“So, I’ve been thinking while I was out earlier,” Magnus begun, earning him a worried look from Alec. “Did I already screw up? I’m sorry if I…” Magnus quickly interrupted Alec, “No! God no! You did nothing wrong. But hear me out, okay?” Alec nodded and furrowed his eyebrows as Magnus continued, “I know I’m your first…well…everything. And that’s not a problem for me! You know that I have experience in the whole dating department. So I promise to take things slow, whenever you feel like I’m going too far or whenever I make you uncomfortable somehow…please let me know, I promise I won’t be mad.”

Alec thought about what Magnus said for a moment before he blushed slightly as he began to understand what he actually meant. “Right…that’s uhm…yeah. That’s good – I mean a good idea! We uh…I’ll let you know if I feel like we’re moving too fast…” Alec smiled sheepishly, he really didn’t know what he was doing, so he was glad that Magnus would wait for him if he ever needed to slow down.

 

The two decided to continue their evening with a movie. Magnus settled down on their couch with his laptop on his lap (A/N: I shouldn’t have laughed at that…). Alec was still standing in the middle of the room awkwardly. Magnus finally looked at him, then at the empty space beside him, then back to Alec, and smiled. Alec shuffled towards the couch and took a seat next to Magnus, though he still left some space between them.

“You won’t see anything if you’re so far away from the screen Alec,” Magnus said with a chuckle. ”Right…” Alec replied, placing both of his hands in his lap and moving closer till his shoulder touched Magnus’. He felt so childish and inexperienced, but Magnus didn’t seem to mind, which reassured Alec somewhat. Magnus picked out some romantic comedy that Alec had never heard of before. It wasn’t a bad movie per se, but it wasn’t great either. The longer it went on, the more predictable the jokes became, though Magnus seemed to enjoy it nonetheless.

As Alec’s eyelids became heavier, he sunk down in his seat. Looking over at Magnus, whose eyes were still glued to the screen, Alec wondered if he could lean his head on him. He decided to take, what felt like, a risk and lowered his head onto Magnus’ shoulder – which left him in a sort of awkward position since Magnus was shorter than him. Magnus kissed the top of Alec’s head and they stayed like this for a few minutes. However, Alec’s neck soon felt strained due to his position.

“This feels awkward,” Alec finally concluded. Magnus chuckled, not that he wasn’t enjoying the contact, but he knew this must be uncomfortable for Alec. He took hold of Alec’s shoulder and pushed him down, lying his head down on his leg. “Better?” Magnus asked, looking down at Alec. “Better,” Alec concurred as he brought his legs closer to his body so he could fit on the couch.

As Magnus began to play with Alec’s hair, the man on his lap slowly drifted off to sleep under the soothing touches. Magnus couldn’t help but grin at the soft snores and blissful expression on Alec’s face when he fell asleep. Magnus couldn’t bring himself to wake Alec up, even when the movie had ended. Instead, he stayed like this and continued to stroke Alec’s hair. Eventually, he also drifted off to sleep.

 

When the early sunrays dripping in through their window forced Alec’s eyes open, he was confused for a second. He realized that he wasn’t lying in his bed, but his head was resting comfortably on something. That’s when he remembered last night. He turned his gaze upwards and met Magnus’ eyes. “Hey there,” he greeted. Alec rubbed his eyes and sighed, “Sorry…didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.” “It’s quite alright, you look adorable when you’re asleep,” Magnus laughed, though Alec just snorted as if he didn’t believe him.

Alec slowly sat up and looked at the watch standing on his desk. “Shit, I need to get to class!” Magnus frowned but nodded. “You’re right, you shouldn’t be late.” Alec hurriedly changed his shirt and tried to tame his messy hair – to no avail. He grabbed his bag and headed for the door, but right before he opened it, Magnus grabbed his wrist, turned him around, and placed a kiss on his lips. He pulled back way too soon, but Alec was still smiling. “I’ll see you later,” Magnus said and winked, as he went to open the door for Alec. “Yeah…” Alec happily replied and kept his eyes on Magnus even after he left the room, only breaking the gaze when he had to turn around the corner.

He’d be missing Magnus for the entire day, but more than ever before, Alec was looking forward to coming back home later.

 _Home_. Alec thought about that. It was just a single room, he had only been here for a few weeks, but somehow, because he knew Magnus would be waiting for him in there, this single room felt like a home to him.


	16. Shall We?

“I’m _so_ going to screw this up.” “No, you’re not! No get in there and try this on,” Isabelle told her brother as she shoved Alec into a changing room. After he told her that he and Magnus were going on a date this evening, she ‘humbly’ declared that she’d help him. And by that, she meant driving to Alec’s college and dragging him to the mall. What Izzy wasn’t expecting, was the state of pure panic she’d find her brother in. Ever since she picked him up to go shopping for some decent clothes (in Alec’s case; anything that isn’t black or grey), he has done nothing but complain about how he will somehow botch the date. Izzy tried her best to calm her brother down, but once he was in panic-mode, it was hard to bring his mind back to reality, she learnt that years ago.

“Are you finished?” she asked, tapping her foot impatiently. Alec let out a sigh and opened the curtain separating the changing room. Immediately, Izzy was in a better mood as she scanned the outfit she’d picked out. Alec was wearing a green shirt – not too bright – and black, ripped skinny jeans. It wasn’t anything too special, but for Alec it was an improvement nonetheless.

“Oh my god Alec, you look so hot!” she exclaimed, causing Alec to turn bright red in fear of someone hearing her. “Shut up Iz, I feel ridiculous,” he urged as he eyed himself in a mirror. “What are you talking about? You’ve never looked better. I swear, Magnus will fall for you as soon as he sees you like this!” Izzy squealed, causing Alec to blush again and look down. “What am I even doing Izzy?” She sighed and stepped closer to her brother, rubbing his shoulder reassuringly. “You’re finally living again Alec,” she declared. Alec looked at her with furrowed eyebrows, now it was her turn to sigh.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you this happy. Ever since…” her voice trailed off, Alec raised a finger, not in a threatening way, but still urgent. “Don’t,” he pleaded. “You haven’t been yourself and you know it. But since you moved here, I’m starting to see the old Alec again,” Izzy explained, smiling at her brother. He leaned his head down on hers and forced a smile onto his face. “What would I ever do without you?” he asked as Izzy returned the smile. “Well for starters, you’d be stuck with your horrible clothing. Speaking of, you’re getting this outfit!” she explained, trying to change the subject, seemingly successful as Alec laughed and nodded.

 

The siblings eventually made their way back to Alec’s room. Magnus was still out doing god-knows-what, leaving Izzy enough time to prepare Alec – whatever that was supposed to mean.

Alec changed into the outfit his sister had picked out. She eyed him over again, then took out some hair products she’d been hiding in her purse. Before he could protest, Izzy had her hands covered in gel and stuck in Alec’s hair, sweeping it to one side while maintaining his natural messy look. When she was done, Izzy nodded approvingly and put the products away again.

“Nervous?” she asked with a sarcastic tone as Alec began fidgeting his hands. She couldn’t help but snort at her flustered brother who glared at her. “Did you expect anything else?” he finally countered. “No, in fact I’d be disappointed if you weren’t,” Izzy gave in. Right when Alec was about to start complaining how this would all surely go horribly wrong, the door opened and Magnus stepped inside.

“Hey Alec, I…wow,” was all he could say before his eyes were fixed on Alec, who was awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other. “Is something wrong?” he asked nervously. Magnus quickly shook his head and smiled at him. “No! Absolutely not. You look amazing,” Magnus explained, earning him the tiniest smile and blush on Alec’s face. “Thank you,” both he and Izzy replied in unison. Magnus just then realized that the younger Lightwood was present and turned to her. “I take it you helped with the outfit?” Magnus smirked. “What do you think?” she replied playfully. Alec was about ready to die of embarrassment.

“Right...well. Give me 15 minutes and I’ll be ready,” was the last thing Magnus said before he grabbed some articles from his closet and vanished to the bathroom. Alec’s eyes followed him till the door closed. He let out a shaky breath, which Izzy immediately noticed. She went over to her brother and started massaging his shoulders. “Don’t worry. Magnus is great, he likes you and you like him. It will be fine, trust me,” she said reassuringly. Though Alec was enjoying the soothing motions of his sister’s hands he turned around to face her. “Sometimes I wish I was as confident as you,” he declared with a half-smile. Izzy shook her head and hugged her brother tightly. “Confidence isn’t everything. I wish I was as caring, smart, cute, humble or responsible as you.” The siblings laughed together in a carefree manner that they rarely showed anymore. “Just enjoy your evening,” Izzy finally said as she pulled away. Alec smiled, “I will.” His sister said her goodbyes and finally left, leaving Alec pacing nervously around the room again. Luckily, he didn’t have to wait long till Magnus finally emerged from the bathroom – and at that sight, Alec’s breath hitched for a moment.

Magnus looked stunning. His hair was styled up in spikes and somehow glittered, though Alec didn’t mind, it suited Magnus. He was wearing a thin, almost see-through, red shirt that clung tightly to his body. It was completely unbuttoned, revealing the smooth muscular chest beneath while not giving away too much. A pair of leather pants hugged Magnus’ legs and…well, his butt – which looked great in them.

Compared to his day-to-day look, Magnus wore surprisingly little makeup, though it was still beautiful. There was some eyeliner beneath his beautiful hazel orbs and purple-ish shadow on his lids. Magnus also seemed to be compromising his missing necklaces with additional rings and bracelets.

 

Alec was staring at Magnus with his jaw hanging open. Magnus seemed to notice as he smirked and used his most flirtatious and smooth voice, “See something you like?” Alec gulped and closed his mouth, his gaze finally meeting Magnus’. “You uh…I mean…y-you look beautiful,” Alec stuttered, causing Magnus to erupt in a soft chuckle. “Thank you darling,” he said with a wink as he extended an arm towards Alec, “Shall we?”


	17. First of Many

Taki’s was a decent restaurant. It wasn’t too expensive or extravagant, but it didn’t have the cheap or dirty feel to it that many other restaurants near a college campus had. It really was a more than decent choice for a date between students who couldn’t afford too much.

Magnus was really trying to be the perfect gentleman. He held the door open for Alec, helped him take off his jacket, and pulled his chair back for him to sit down. At first it was making Alec uncomfortable, but then again he has never been treated this way and he started to enjoy all of the attention. Whenever he tried to steal away a look at Magnus, he saw him staring right back at him with a warm smile on his face.

Soon after they were seated, a waiter took their orders. Said waiter also lit the candle placed between the two on the table and smirked at them as he walked away. Alec let out a nervous and shaky breath but smiled back at Magnus, whose eyes still hadn’t left him.

“So, Alexander, tell me about yourself.” Alec furrowed his eyebrows. “There isn’t much you don’t already know…but if you want to know anything in particular…” Alec’s voice trailed off – he didn’t really think of himself as an interesting individual, so talking about himself was hard for him. Luckily, Magnus was more than willing to take the lead. “All right then, you’re into literature. Who’s your favorite author?” Alec’s eyes narrowed as he thought about the question. “That’s really hard actually…I love some classics like Shakespeare or Poe, I love poetry as well, but I couldn’t pick a favorite.” Magnus nodded understandingly. Suddenly, a small grin tucked at Alec’s lips. “Uhm…I think that’s kind of weird, but I also like song lyrics,” he admitted while looking down at the table cloth, which suddenly seemed extraordinarily interesting. “Really? And why’s that?” Magnus inquired with sincere interest. “Well,” Alec began, rubbing the back of his neck, “if you think about it, it’s just like poems but with another layer. The music just adds to the feeling.” Magnus nodded, he never really paid much attention to song lyrics till now, but in the future he’d be sure to do so. “I’ve never looked at music that way, but I guess you’re right,” Magnus concluded.

“I’d ask you who your favorite photographer is, but I guess that’s not really what it’s about, right?” Alec asked, proud to be able to keep the conversation going. Magnus smiled and nodded. “For me it’s more about capturing and preserving memories. Hold on to something as fragile as a moment for eternity,” he explained. “Very poetic,” Alec mused when he suddenly had an idea.

“We should take a picture together.” Magnus lifted his eyebrows in surprise. “I’d like to remember this evening,” Alec explained. Magnus smirked at him as he pulled out his phone. “I like the way you think,” he noted as he turned around and faced the camera towards them. As Magnus pursed his lips overdramatically, Alec couldn’t help but laugh at the image. Right in that moment, Magnus took the picture. “Oh no, please delete that!” Alec exclaimed as Magnus showed him their portrait. Before Alec could get his hands on the other man’s phone, he pulled away. “Nah ah ah, this is about capturing moments, remember? There’s no re-do.” “But we could just take another,” Alec noted, though he was smiling and had already admitted defeat. “That defeats the purpose darling,” Magnus declared and put his phone away.

 

They sat and ate while having light conversations about everything and nothing at all. The two played off each other rather well and there wasn’t a moment in which either of them felt awkward.

That is, until they left and started to walk towards their dorm again. Magnus, desperate for more than just the mere presence of Alec beside him, took hold of his hand. Alec immediately froze in place and Magnus feared he was going to pull away, yell at him, anything really. But Alec was just standing there looking at him.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to startle you,” Magnus offered apologetically. Before he could pull his hand away however, Alec laced their fingers and finally smiled at him, his eyes seemingly brighter than ever before. “Don’t…” he whispered. “I like how this feels,” Alec admitted sheepishly. Magnus let out a breath he didn’t knew he was holding in when Alec started to move alongside him again. They took a route that wasn’t necessarily the shortest, indulging in each other’s presence. They came to a hold again next to a tree and looked up into the night sky.

The pale moonlight painted the few clouds that were drifting above and countless stars illuminated the darkness. Almost simultaneously, they looked back down and to each other, a cold wind urged them to move closer together. Alec smiled down at Magnus, whose eyes reflected the little light the moon provided beautifully. With a sudden urge, he captured his lips.

They stood together in the night, lips pressed together, heating their bodies up. Magnus moved his hands to Alec’s neck, while the other one’s moved to Magnus’ waist, pulling him closer. Magnus was pleasantly surprised when Alec started taking control, nibbling on his bottom lip until he allowed entrance. As their mouths began to dance against each other and their bodies melted into one, Alec slipped his hand under Magnus’ shirt, sending a shiver down his spine.

Before things could get too wild, Magnus pulled back, allowing them both to catch their breath. “It’s getting cold…we should probably go back to our room,” he explained without loosening his grip on Alec. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” Alec agreed. He kept his arm around Magnus, who gladly leant into the touch, as they walked back.

 

When they arrived in their room, they both changed into sweatpants. Magnus sat down on his bed and shifted his gaze towards Alec, who was standing in the middle of the room, seemingly conflicted. It took Magnus a moment before he realized what Alec was debating internally.

“Listen,” Magnus began as he stood up and moved towards Alec, “we don’t have to take this any further tonight. We have time, we don’t need to rush things, okay? There’s always a next time.” Alec looked at him and searched his face, “So I didn’t screw up tonight?” Magnus chuckled and pressed a chaste kiss on the taller man’s lips. “Far from it.”

 

They both went to their own beds, facing each other and falling asleep with a smile on their face.


	18. About Time

Though Alec’s sleep was peaceful, when he awoke, he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. He couldn’t quite pinpoint what this something was yet, but somehow he felt like there was a hole in his body that longed, more so than ever before, to be filled.

After Alec blinked away his remaining tiredness, he realized that Magnus was standing next to his bed and smiling down at him. “Morning sunshine,” he whispered as he leant down and pressed a soft kiss to Alec’s temple, causing him to smile and squirm under his covers. “I’m heading out for class. Text me,” Magnus continued, as he ran his fingers through Alec’s hair. Alec was not quite awake enough to talk, so instead he hummed approvingly, earning him a chuckle from the other man.

 

Alec wouldn’t have to get to class for a while. He turned over and was about to fall asleep again when his phone started ringing. Annoyed, he grabbed it and answered before even looking at who dared to call him at this ungodly hour.

“Yes?!” Alec snarled into his phone, earning him a chuckle from the other end. “Good morning to you too, brother dear,” Izzy chimed. Alec rolled his eyes – how could she be so happy this early?! “What do you want Izzy, I’m kinda busy,” Alec sighed as he turned to lie on his back. “In bed with Magnus, hm?” Izzy joked. Alec could practically hear the smirk she was wearing through her voice. “No Izzy,” he protested, “He’s out for classes. And just so you know, nothing happened, don’t even ask.” “Well, I wouldn’t say _nothing_ …looked like things were getting pretty heated between you two yesterday,” Izzy replied playfully. Suddenly Alec’s eyes widened almost comically as he sat up straight in his bed and yelled at his sister. “Did you spy on us?!” Izzy just laughed. “I had to make sure he _really_ wasn’t going to rape you or something…” she explained, her voice trailing off. “I swear you’re the worst Isabelle. Is there no privacy in this family?” Izzy seemed to actually ponder on this question for a moment. “No, not really. But you looked really cute together, I’ll give you that.” “Wow, thank you Izzy. Glad we entertained you,” Alec said, his voice seeping with sarcasm. “Oh don’t be like that Alec, I’m really happy for you!”

 

Though he couldn’t quite suppress a smile tugging at his mouth Alec was slowly fed up with this conversation. “Anyways, did you just call me to tease me about my barely existing dating life or is there something important?” Alec inquired. “Actually, yes, there is something,” Izzy replied, surprising her brother. “Mom and dad’s anniversary is coming up this weekend. Jace and I wanted to take them out for dinner, are you in?” Alec sighed at his sister’s request.

Lightwood family dinners tended to be a little – overwhelming. Though they all got along most of the time, so many strong personalities stacked in one room tended to cause a bit of tension at times. Then again; Alec hadn’t been home since the semester started and he could use some time off campus. “Fine. Sure, I’m in,” he agreed. “Great! I’ll make the reservations.”

Then there was a pregnant pause. Alec could feel that his sister wasn’t finished yet, but he was waiting for her to ask whatever she wanted to by herself. After they both were silent for a whole minute however, Alec grew tired of waiting. “What is it Iz?” His sister let out a long breath before she talked again. “I was just thinking…now that you have a boyfriend…” “He’s not my boyfriend,” Alec quickly interrupted. Not that he didn’t want Magnus to be his boyfriend…they just hadn’t talked about this and he wouldn’t make assumptions, after all, Alec didn’t really know what he was doing. This whole dating thing was completely uncharted territory for him.

“Fine, not a boyfriend, but you’re seeing someone,” Izzy continued, unfazed by her brother’s interruption, “I just thought…it might be time to tell mom and dad, you know? About you…” It was rare for Izzy to be so flustered. Alec sighed and rubbed his forehead. He had been thinking about coming out to his parents for a while – for years actually, but it never seemed like it was appropriate. “I don’t know Izzy…I don’t know if I should risk ruining their anniversary,” Alec said, trying to avoid the topic. “Listen Alec, I’m not going to push you into anything. But…I think you would be a lot happier if they knew. And I’m going to be there, Jace is going to be there, if anything goes wrong we have your back – not that I’m saying that anything will go wrong! But if they really don’t take it well, then we’ll at least have ruined the special night for them, which would be hilarious, don’t you think? And if it gets really bad you can just go back to campus and sulk in Magnus’ arms or something and Jace and I will…” “Izzy!” Alec finally interrupted her, “You’re rambling!” Then there was a short pause. “Sorry,” his sister finally sighed.

“Look, I’ll think about it okay? It’s not like I can hide it forever…” Alec was really trying to encourage himself instead of calming his sister down. She would always get so protective, and Jace wasn’t any better. If his parents really did not like the idea of having a gay son, his siblings would be there to defend him at least. The prospect of that was somehow calming him down as well.

 

“Good,” Izzy finally chimed, pulling Alec out of his thoughts, “I’ll text you about the reservations. See you on Saturday then.” And just like that, she’d hung up.

 

Alec sighed again, dropping his phone onto his bed. In his heart of hearts, he knew that Izzy was probably right, that it was time to come out. But he would’ve felt so much more comfortable if he could’ve taken Magnus with him. His presence was soothing, maybe it’d have the same effect on his parents.

 

Alec’s thoughts were interrupted by the obnoxiously loud sound of his alarm going off. He rolled over and rubbed his temples, frustrated that his sister had kept him from getting some more sleep. This was going to be a long week.

 


	19. This is Happening

The days leading up to the weekend dragged on endlessly. Alec had told Magnus that he’d be home for the weekend, but he didn’t mention the part where he might or might not come out to his parents, he didn’t need Magnus to worry about that.

 

Finally, Saturday morning rolled around and Alec was getting ready to head out.

 

“You sure you have everything you need?” Magnus inquired as he eyed the small bag Alec was taking with him. “Well, I can’t exactly take you with me, but aside from that, yes,” Alec replied playfully as Magnus leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss on his lips. “I’m going to miss you,” he said, leaning his head against Alec’s. “I’m going to miss you too…but I’ll be back tomorrow, don’t worry.” Before Alec left, he pressed a last kiss to Magnus’ cheek and waved him goodbye.

The two hadn’t been on another date yet, and nothing more happened between them, beside the occasional kiss. Their make out sessions were beginning to get heavier, but till now, they had always kept their clothes on. They also never shared a bed. Magnus really was willing to take things slow with Alec. The feelings between the two seemed to grow stronger with each passing day, just from talking to one another – no physical contact needed.

 

Jace had volunteered to pick Alec up, and he was glad to be able to spend some time alone with his brother. As Alec spotted his brother’s car moving towards him, he couldn’t help but smile.

“Sup bro?” the blonde asked as he stopped next to his brother. “Really? Frat talk?” Alec snorted but quickly got in. “I thought it was appropriate,” Jace replied with a smirk.

The drive had mostly been uneventful. Alec updated Jace on everything that was happening in college, except one ‘minor’ detail. “So I talked to Izzy the other day,” Jace begun, causing Alec to turn his head towards him in anticipation. “I didn’t know you were dating someone. And I’m quite shocked that you told Iz, but not me,” he continued with a fake frown. Alec rolled his eyes. “There really is no privacy in this family…” he said to himself as Jace hit his shoulder playfully. “Come on now Alec, spill,” Jace urged. “There really isn’t much to talk about Jace,” his brother replied, rolling his eyes. “We’ve literally been on one date.” “Oh but I do think that’s worth talking about. You’ve never dated anyone, so this guy must be very special, hm?” Jace continued with a sly grin. Alec blushed ever so slightly. “I don’t know…he’s uhm…well…yeah, okay. I guess special would be a good word to describe him,” he explained, his voice trailing off in the end. “Oh man, he’s got you wrapped around his finger, doesn’t he?” Jace inquired chuckling. “Shut up,” Alec replied quickly, but the smile on his face gave away that he wasn’t serious.

 

The rest of the car ride was spent with snarky comments by Jace, followed by Alec shoving his shoulder. They soon arrived back at the Lightwood residence – a beautiful 3-storey house with teal walls. The Lightwoods had money, lots of it. But Alec never let that get to his head, he spent only as much as he had to, seeing as he had to rely on his own earnings one day anyways.

When the two brothers entered the house, they were greeted by Izzy running down the stairs into the spacious foyer and throwing herself around their necks. “Hello you lovely people! How are the two best brothers in the world doing on this wonderful day?” she asked as Jace and Alec exchanged a confused look. “What the hell’s gotten into you?” Jace inquired. “Oh nothing, nothing. Just happy to see you of course. And maybe I got a date tomorrow, but that’s beyond the point,” she replied, letting go of her brothers and instead dancing through the hall. Alec rolled his eyes, his sister would always get overly excited for a date with any ‘gorgeous guy’, it was actually pretty funny at times.

Alec sighed, setting down his bag. “Are mom and dad home already?” “Yeah, why?” Jace asked curiously. “Well I…need to talk to them, I guess,” Alec replied, playing with the hem of his shirt. Izzy’s eyes widened. “Are you implying what I think you are?” she exclaimed happily. “Care to explain?” Jace ditched in, looking at his brother. “I uhm…thought about telling mom and dad. You know, about…me,” Alec explained, but Jace didn’t seem to understand what he was talking about.

All three Lightwood siblings were startled by the sudden appearance of their parents down the hallway. “Tell us what?” their father, Robert, inquired as the two made their way towards their children. All color was drained from Alec’s face as his parents approached him. “Oh…uh, well, I…” he stuttered. “Come on, out with it,” his mother, Maryse, demanded.

 

Maryse and Robert were not exactly the touchy-feely type of parents. They loved their children dearly, each and every one of them. Even Jace, who they’d adopted when he was about 9. But for Alec, talking to his parents about his love life was not exactly a priority, seeing as they were frustrated enough with Izzy, who slept her way through half of her high school.

 

Alec suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. “Come on, you can do it,” his sister encouraged him with a warm smile. Jace was still standing beside them, almost as confused as their parents. “Well, uhm…mom, dad…I-I’m, you know…I’m…gay.”

 

There was a short pause before anyone would speak again. “Oh! That’s what you were talking about!” Jace suddenly yelled, startling his siblings. Alec took a careful look at his parents who had yet to react. He could see a smile on his father’s face, but his mother seemed…disappointed. “Oh Alec…why now?” she said, shaking her head. This was _not_ going as planned.


	20. Change of Plan

Alec could feel his heart sink heavily as his mouth fell open. He was unable to respond. He really had ruined his parent’s anniversary, or at least Maryse’s – Robert was still smiling but hadn’t said anything yet. Well, good – that was the plan after all, wasn’t it? If they didn’t like the idea of a gay son, Alec would at least have the chance to ruin their special day before leaving and never returning.

Right before tears started welling up in Alec’s eyes, his father put a gentle hand on his mother’s back. “Now then Maryse, pay up.” Wait – _what?_ Maryse sighed and went to grab her purse, pulling her wallet out and searching through it. “Couldn’t you have waited another month?” she asked, shaking her head, as she handed Robert a twenty dollar bill. “Excuse me?!” Alec exclaimed. He needed an explanation for this. Right now.

“You see,” his father begun, “we’ve known for quite a while. We had a bet when you’d finally tell us – which I’ve just won.” He seemed to be glowing with excitement…over twenty dollars.

Izzy’s and Jace’s expression mirrored Alec’s disbelief. “Are you kidding me? Like…seriously, is this a hidden camera thing?” Robert simply shrugged, wearing, what was supposed to be an apologetic expression, as Maryse put her purse down again.

Alec was baffled. He didn’t know whether he should be happy or angry…maybe a bit of both. “That could’ve gone worse, right?” Izzy finally stammered, putting her arm around Alec to calm him down. Alec blinked in confusion but finally nodded. “So you don’t have a problem with it?” he inquired, just to be sure. “Of course not,” his mother replied, smiling at him. “But may I ask, why did you decide to tell us now?”

“I bet it’s because of his boyfriend,” Jace suggested with a smirk. Izzy almost choked on air, trying to hold back her laughter. Maryse and Robert looked at Alec with wide eyes. “You have a boyfriend? Since when?” Alec buried his face in his hands. “He’s not my boyfriend…I mean we’ve just…ugh…” His words were muffled by hands while his siblings couldn’t contain their laughter any longer. His parents both raised an eyebrow at him expectantly. “I think what he’s trying to say is; they aren’t official yet,” Izzy finally explained. “Oh, I see. Well, if you ever want to introduce us…just let us know,” Maryse said, giving Alec a small smile. He nodded and sighed.

“Wait, if you’re just saying that so I forget about the whole ‘betting on our sons sexuality’-thing, that’s not going to work!” “We technically didn’t bet on whether you were gay or not, we bet on when you were going to tell us,” Robert corrected, lifting his index finger. “Same thing!” Alec exclaimed, earning him another round of laughter from his siblings.

 

After his parents finally apologized, the Lightwoods made their way to an Italian restaurant that Izzy had picked. Dinner went over quite well – though there was the occasional awkward moments, as usual, Alec hadn’t felt so comfortable around his family for a long time. It was the first time he would’ve actually not minded to spend more time with them, but on Sunday, he had to return to campus. Jace ‘graciously’ offered to drive him back as well, which Alec accepted happily.

For the entire ride, something was bothering Alec – he didn’t have much time to think about it yesterday, but something he said himself was bothering him. _He’s not my boyfriend._ It was true, Magnus and he hadn’t talked about becoming official yet. But now that Alec was thinking about it, it felt so strange not being able to call Magnus his own. Before he knew him, Alec had never even thought about getting into a relationship. There weren’t many guys he felt attracted to, and most of them were straight anyways. His meeting with Magnus Bane somehow felt so…predestined. It felt right. And with those thoughts a fire was lit deep down inside of Alec. A fire which he hadn’t felt before, but he welcomed this new feeling.

When he and Jace arrived back on campus, Alec quickly said his goodbyes and darted off to his room. He needed to see Magnus, he needed to talk to him, and he needed to be close to him again. More than Alec had realized, being away from Magnus was physically exhausting.

 

Alec didn’t even make time to let Magnus know he was back, he just needed to get to their room as quickly as he possibly could.

When he finally arrived at their door, Alec couldn’t keep the grin spreading on his lips from appearing, as he unlocked and opened the door hastily. He didn’t even bother to announce his arrival before he called out. “Magnus, I’m back! I need to ask you some-…”

 

As Alec entered the room and saw Magnus, his voice trailed off. His breath hitched in his throat and the airy feeling from before was replaced by a familiar, heavy sadness. What Alec saw, was Magnus sitting on his bed, wrapped in his blanket. He held something in his hand and he was crying.

No, not crying – he was weeping. His eyes were red, tears stained his face and the ever-present shimmer in his eyes had vanished. Alec’s heart was breaking into a million pieces as he saw Magnus like that. He had to hold back tears himself when Magnus looked up and their eyes met. Magnus swallowed heavily and tried to quickly wipe away his tears. “Alec, I…I didn’t expect you so soon.” His voice was shaky. He must’ve been crying for hours, and with that thought, Alec could feel another tear in his own, damaged heart.

 


	21. Hold Me

For a moment, Alec was stunned. What he saw before him, this husk of a man…he wasn’t expecting to ever see Magnus this fragile or broken. Instinct overtook Alec’s mind and he darted over to Magnus’ bed, sat down beside him and wrapped his arms around him. All Alec could hear were the sobs coming from Magnus, all Alec could feel was the trembling body in his arms, all Alec could see was Magnus’ shaking form, blurred by his own, rising tears.

 

“What’s wrong Magnus?” Alec softly inquired. He could feel Magnus slowly leaning into him. As the Alec’s warm body touched him, Magnus slowly began to relax, though his breathing was still uneven. “It…it’s nothing, really. You don’t have to worry about me,” Magnus lied. He really didn’t want to bother Alec with his problems, he handled them well on his own until now.

“Please Magnus, let me help you,” Alec begged. He sounded desperate, and he really was. He couldn’t bear to see Magnus like this, and all he could think about was making him feel better, to put a smile back on his lips.

Magnus sighed shakily. It wouldn’t be fair to keep Alec out of his private life completely. The truth was; Magnus didn’t know how much longer he could bear the burden of his past on his own. He knew, no one could ever take it away, and he shouldn’t force his problems upon Alec. But the honesty and caring tone in Alec’s voice let Magnus forget all that and made him want to just cry out and share his past with him.

 

“It’s because of my mother,” Magnus slowly began.  He couldn’t look Alec in the eyes, so instead he kept his gaze on the picture he was holding in his lap. “She died three years ago on this day in a car crash…” Alec shuddered and tightened his hold on Magnus to reassure him, but he didn’t speak, sensing that Magnus needed to talk first. “I miss her so damn much Alec…I miss her every day.” Another sob escaped Magnus. Alec wished he could take his pain away, but he knew he couldn’t. All he could do was try to ease it.

“I’m so sorry Magnus…if there’s anything I could do…” Alec began, but he was quickly interrupted by Magnus. “Just…hold me. I just want you to be here…”

Alec was more than glad to comply. He pulled Magnus into his lap and leant back against the wall behind the bed. They sat like this in silence, aside from the occasional sob from Magnus. Alec stroked his hair and wiped away some stray tears that escaped not only Magnus’, but also his own eyes.

 

Alec didn’t know how long they’d been sitting like this, but eventually night fell and Magnus seemed to have calmed down. Then, finally, Alec could catch a glimpse of the picture Magnus was still holding. “Is this her?” Alec asked softly, not wanting to upset or startle Magnus. He couldn’t see it, but Magnus was smiling sadly. “Yeah. That was on my fifteenth birthday.” Alec took a closer look; the woman who was hugging Magnus and smiling brilliantly in the picture looked very much like her son. High cheek bones, strikingly gorgeous eyes, and pitch black hair. Alec smiled as well. “She looks so much like you…she’s beautiful,” Alec whispered soothingly, finally earning him a soft chuckle from Magnus. “Does that mean you think that _I’m_ beautiful?” he asked – he sounded like he was joking, but traces of his sadness were still weaved into his voice. Alec's cheeks reddened. “Of course I do,” he said, placing a soft kiss on Magnus’ cheek, earning him a content sigh.

They sat in silence again, this time not as long as before. “Hey, you said you wanted to ask something earlier,” Magnus said, turning his head sideways slightly so he could see Alec. “Oh that…I don’t know if it’s really appropriate right now…it can wait,” Alec sighed, but Magnus wouldn’t have any of that. “No, it’s okay. Just tell me.” Alec looked into the other man’s eyes. A red rim surrounded the beautiful brown – Magnus was hurt, but underneath it all, he was still the same.

 

“Well, I wanted to ask if uhm…if you would like to be my, you know, boyfriend…like, officially,” Alec explained, his voice trailing off. And just like that, the shimmer in Magnus eyes returned as he swung around to face Alec full on. As Magnus didn’t answer immediately, Alec became anxious – it really was inappropriate to ask this right now, wasn’t it? But Magnus was just staring into his eyes… “Look, you don’t have to-“ Alec’s words were interrupted by Magnus, who pulled him in and hugged him tightly. “Are you serious? Of course! Of course I’ll be your boyfriend,” Magnus exclaimed, his voice seemingly ridden of every trace of sadness.

Alec let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in as Magnus lips met his own. It was a bittersweet moment, but neither Alec nor Magnus would’ve wanted to change it for the world.

Their kiss was interrupted by a yawn that escaped Magnus – of course he was exhausted, it had been a long day…Alec smiled at him and stroked his cheek. “I guess we should get some sleep,” he announced with a slight grin. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” Magnus said with a chuckle Alec was glad to hear again.

As Alec changed into sweatpants and a loose shirt, Magnus placed the picture he’d been holding on his desk, not afraid to show it anymore. Before today, he was afraid his hurt might change things between him and Alec, but now he knew that that wasn’t the case.

 

Before Alec could lie down onto his bed, Magnus grabbed his wrist. “Hey uhm…do you want to sleep over here tonight?” he asked, pointing back at his bed. Alec was captivated by Magnus’ almost begging expression, but after today, he was glad to join him. “Sure.”

As they lied down, Magnus nuzzled into Alec’s side and rested his head on the other one’s chest, his steady heartbeat was calming. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus and stroked his arms lazily. It didn’t take them long to drift off into sleep in the embrace of each other.


	22. Relaxing

If waking up would always feel this nice, Magnus could really get used to it. When he slowly blinked his eyes open, he was met with, what he deemed, the most adorable sight he’d ever seen.  
Alec’s hair was completely disheveled, his mouth was open slightly and soft snores could be heard, his facial features looked so precious and soft in the morning light. His long eyelashes played against his cheeks and his nose vibrated with every breath he took. Magnus couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his _boyfriend._ He didn’t know how long he’d been watching him before Alec’s eyes slowly opened as well. A yawn escaped him as he stretched his arms above his head and looked down at Magnus.

 

“Good morning darling,” Magnus teased. Alec smiled and placed a kiss on the tip of Magnus’ nose. “Morning beautiful.” Magnus sunk into Alec even more at his words; not matter what he said, he made Magnus feel so special.

“As much as I’d love to stay here and cuddle, I think I need to get ready for my classes,” Magnus said with a pout. Alec groaned disapprovingly and clutched even tighter onto him. They both erupted in a chuckle and eventually, Alec let go with a sigh. “Fine, but we’re gonna have to pick this up where we leave it later, alright?” “Of course,” Magnus concurred and kissed Alec sweetly.

 

As Magnus got ready in the bathroom, Alec thought about the prior evening; the way he found Magnus, the way he looked – Alec’s heart ached just thinking about it. He never wanted to see him like this again. It was strange, really. Alec never felt so protective over someone, except his siblings. But now, this urge to keep the people close to him from any harm had spread and extended to Magnus as well. Alec wasn’t quite sure what to think about this newfound feeling, but somehow – it felt so right. It wasn’t something Alec could really put into words, but deep down he knew, slowly but surely, he was falling for Magnus.

 

The day dragged on endlessly. Somehow, Alec’s classes seemed particularly boring, and he couldn’t wait to get back to his room. He felt absolutely exhausted, though he really hadn’t done much this day, aside from a little research for a paper he was supposed to write. Maybe he was getting sick, or maybe he didn’t get enough sleep after he comforted Magnus the night before. Either way, when Alec arrived back at his room, he felt horrible and threw himself onto his bed with a loud groan, as he buried his head into his pillow.

It wasn’t much later that Magnus also arrived, though he didn’t seem tired in the slightest. When he saw Alec lying in his bed, he couldn’t suppress a chuckle. “Rough day?” “Not really…just feeling a bit tired, that’s all.” Alec’s response was muffled by his pillow, and Magnus couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for his boyfriend.

 

“Come here,” Magnus ordered as he sat down on Alec’s bed. The younger one protested slightly but eventually got up into a sitting position as well. Magnus grabbed him and turned him around, so he was leaning with his back against Magnus.

Magnus began rubbing and massaging Alec’s shoulders. He really appreciated Alec’s muscular build, his body felt so firm under his touch. Alec immediately felt more relaxed. Every rub of Magnus’ soft, warm hands let Alec melt into him, till he was almost moaning in content, which didn’t go unnoticed. Magnus chuckled and instinctively grabbed onto the hem of Alec’s shirt before he remembered that he should restrain himself.

“May I?” Magnus asked tentatively. Though Alec was blushing, he nodded in agreement. Magnus slowly pulled Alec’s shirt over his head and quickly started to massage his arms and back as well, earning him a delighted sigh from Alec.

When Magnus started placing soft kisses on Alec’s neck, both men began to lose themselves in the moment. Alec couldn’t say he disliked what was happening, but he felt nervous, being so exposed around Magnus, anyway. When Magnus’ hands slipped over Alec’s chest and sent shivers down the younger one’s spine, Magnus got an idea – though he knew this was all new to Alec, he wanted to help his boyfriend relax.

 

“Alec, if you want me to stop, just tell me. I won’t mind, okay?” Alec furrowed his eyebrows at Magnus’ request, as he didn’t know where he was going with it, but he hummed in approval anyway as his body started to react to Magnus touches. That’s when Magnus hands started to work their way lower and lower down Alec’s chest and abs. Magnus’ fingers sent electric currents through Alec’s body with every touch, his lips on Alec’s neck felt amazingly warm. Slowly but surely, Magnus hands reached Alec’s pants. While he pulled one back up to work on Alec’s shoulder, the other one descended, ever so slowly, further down and over the growing bulge in Alec’s pants. The younger one gasped; though he only felt the touch through the fabric of his pants, he began to pant and blush excessively, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. Magnus, sensing the tension growing in his boyfriend, pulled his hand up again.

 

“Too much?” he asked sheepishly, but instead of an answer, Alec’s hand found Magnus’ and guided it towards his bulge again. “N-no…I just…” Alec’s words were hard to make out through his gasps, but Magnus got the message. “Pl-please don’t stop…” That’s all Magnus needed to hear.

 

His hand slid towards the button on Alec’s pants, and he opened it with a quick twist of his fingers. The zipper followed shortly after, releasing Alec’s growing length slightly, though it was still constricted by Alec’s black boxer briefs. One of Magnus’ hands started to rub over it, while the other found Alec’s nipple and started to twist it. Alec gasped and panted, but made no effort whatsoever to stop what was happening – he felt completely at ease, yet still protected by Magnus’ presence.

As Magnus continued to place kisses on Alec’s neck, slowly working his way towards his earlobe and nibbling on it, both of his hands found the edge of Alec’s briefs, and, as Alec didn’t stop Magnus, pulled them down as well.

Now completely exposed and sitting in Magnus lap, Alec’s heart beat rapidly, not out of fear, but out of excitement. “You sure?” Magnus voice sounded husky and raw, it lifted Alec up into completely new heights as he grabbed Magnus hand and guided it towards his erection. “Yes…” Alec breathed, as Magnus continued to suck on his earlobe.

 

He gripped Alec’s length and slowly started to work his hand up and down the entire length. Each stroke caused a hitched breath to escape Alec’s lips, as Magnus' skilled hand slipped around his needing erection. This was completely new, and it felt so right. Alec had touched himself before, of course, but this was something entirely different. Magnus hands felt amazing against his own skin, like they were made to touch him specifically.

As Magnus strokes became faster, Alec knew that he wouldn’t last long. The older one started to play with the tip of Alec’s length between his fingers, spreading the leaking drops of precome around. Alec could feel himself getting close. While one of his hands grabbed onto Magnus’ hair, the other locked with Magnus’ free one. This only encouraged Magnus to stroke even faster.

“Magn-Mags…I’m gonna…I’m…” Alec couldn’t even finish his sentence before he released all over himself and Magnus’ hand, the warm liquid covering them both. Magnus kept stroking, making Alec squirm in pleasure as he rode out his high.

 

Eventually, they both calmed down, though Alec was still panting. “That was…” Magnus chuckled and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you…” was all that Alec could manage to say. “You’re quite welcome,” Magnus replied with a wink, as he stood up and got a towel out of their bathroom to clean up the mess.

 “If having a bad day always earns me a massage, I’m going to stress out even more in the future,” Alec joked as he lie down next to Magnus. “That only means you have to return the favor, darling,” Magnus replied cheerfully as he wrapped his arms around Alec. “Gladly,” Alec said as he placed a sweet, lingering kiss on Magnus’ lips. When he pulled back, Alec stroked Magnus’ cheek and smiled. “What is it?” Magnus inquired, returning the smile. “It’s just…you’re beautiful…” Alec said, blushing. “So are you,” Magnus returned, kissing Alec again.


	23. Come Along

Thanksgiving was something Magnus had learned to despise. It was a reminder, every year, that he had no real family left. After his mother’s death, the stupid holiday had become a constant burden – mostly filled with tears and alcohol. Magnus didn’t let Alec know how he felt about the day, though he knew that Alec probably could guess what his true feelings were. Luckily, Alec also knew how to avoid sensitive subjects, and he knew that talking about his family matters was hard for Magnus. So he simply reassured that, whenever Magnus needed to talk, he’d be there for him.

 

In the Lightwood household, Thanksgiving had always been the only holiday they really celebrated. Maryse and Robert weren’t really religious, but they had nice Christmas dinners and presents for the sake of the kids, and some of those traditions had remained. But Thanksgiving was always different for them, it was the day all the Lightwoods would come together, put any stupid little differences aside and enjoy their time as a family – as dysfunctional as this family might be at times.

So when Alec got a call from his mother about this year’s celebration, he wasn’t surprised.

 

“How’ve you been Alec? We all really miss having you around.” Somehow, Maryse sounded more caring and loving than ever before, maybe because she realized, after Alec moved out, how dearly she loved him.

“I’m good mom, thanks. A little stressed out with some projects, but nothing too serious. How are you guys? Anything out of the ordinary?” Alec found that he actually enjoyed talking to his mother when she was like this. Maybe it also had to do with the fact that he finally came out and she actually accepted him right away – yeah, that surely was a bonus.

“Oh we’re all good, Jace was a little sick last week, but I think he’s all good now. You know, I actually was calling because Thanksgiving is around the corner and I wanted to make sure that you’d come home…I mean, if you aren’t too busy with college of course!” So this is what this is about, Maryse was actually worried that, just because Alec moved away, he’d forget about the one family tradition he actually cared about.

“Of course I’ll be there mom. I miss you guys a lot.” Alec could’ve sworn his mother sighed in relief, but if she did, she held her phone away so he couldn’t hear it properly. “Good, I’m glad…” Then there was a short pause, as if Maryse wanted to say more, but wasn’t sure how to articulate it. Alec, being the impatient kid he always was, urged his mother to continue. “What is it mom? Is something wrong?” “No! No, of course not. I just wanted to let you know, uhm…” This was highly unlike Alec’s mother – she never got flustered like this. “Mom, you’re starting to scare me. Come on, out with it.” Alec didn’t try to sound annoyed, though it probably came out like that anyways.

Another sigh - this time it was louder – escaped Maryse. “Izzy and Jace are bringing their partners along…I just wanted to let you know, if there is anyone you’d like to bring, you’re of course allowed to. Just let us know in advance, alright?”

Oh. This was not what Alec was expecting, though he guessed it did make sense. Both of his siblings had invited their boyfriend or girlfriend over for Thanksgiving before, but till now, such a thing never even occur to Alec.

“Well…uh…I don’t know yet. I’ll…I mean…I’ll let you know.” Alec was a little overwhelmed. Sure, he’d like to bring Magnus along, but he didn’t know if he’d be up for such a thing, seeing as Thanksgiving was usually a rather traumatic day for him.

“Good, well, I’ll see you on Friday then,” Maryse concluded and hung up, leaving Alec with conflicting thoughts. He’d at least have to offer Magnus to come along – and he needed to let him know that it’d be okay if he didn’t feel like coming.

 

Alec was lying on his bed, reading, when Magnus came home that evening. For some reason, he felt nervous about asking Magnus to basically introduce him to his family. That was a huge step in their relationship, Alec knew as much, but he felt like he was ready to take that step. So as Magnus lied down next to him, Alec put his book aside and pulled Magnus close.

“I wanted to ask you something,” he began. Magnus tried to meet Alec’s eyes, but the younger one was looking away shyly. “Yes?” Magnus urged with a slight chuckle. “I uhm…wanted to ask if you’d like to…you know…come to my place for Thanksgiving. I mean, if you’d like to…I don’t want to pressure you into anything, really.”

Alec was so flustered and almost scared, it was adorable. Magnus knew why he was so hesitant to ask him to come along, but he was glad Alec did so anyways.

“I’d love to,” he replied with a smirk. Alec looked down at him in shock. He didn’t expect this to go down so smoothly. “Oh. Well, that’s great. I didn’t think you’d agree to be honest…” “So you don’t want me to come with you?” Magnus asked, feigning hurt – well enough to let Alec think he actually was hurt by his words.

“What?! Of course I want you to come! In fact, I’d love nothing more! I just wasn’t expecting you to say yes, that’s all.” Alec’s panicky side was so cute, Magnus would never get tired of seeing his boyfriend like this.

 

It was almost tragic – no matter what Alec did, no matter how flustered, or angry, or sad, or happy he was, Magnus couldn’t help but cherish every single emotion of his boyfriend. He realized that he was falling for Alec, but he couldn’t let him know yet – if Alec didn’t feel the same way about him, Magnus heart would forever be damaged beyond repair. So for now, he decided to keep his feelings locked up, while still enjoying them.

 

Smiling at Alec, he said, “Then I’d love to come with you.”


	24. No Place like Home

Alec had let his parents know that he wouldn’t come alone this year. He hadn’t told them who he’d bring along, though, if they hadn’t figured it out by themselves, Izzy will probably have told them about Magnus by now. Which wasn’t a big deal per se, though Alec would’ve liked to _really_ introduce Magnus himself. He still would though, and that felt good. It felt good to finally be able to be honest with his whole family, it felt good to not be alone when every other member of your family wasn’t. For years now, Jace and Izzy had always brought someone along to these family gatherings – the partners changed, of course, but still. Now, Alec wouldn’t feel left out anymore. It was strange, really, every time he looked at Magnus, he felt like he belonged. Right there, with Magnus by his side, wherever that would take the two.

 

When the pair arrived at the Lightwood’s family home, Magnus gasped in surprise – he didn’t exactly know how well off the Lightwoods were…he surely didn’t expect this. Then again, he thought it was so fitting and sweet that he could’ve never told how rich this family was by their eldest son’s behavior. Alec was humble and gracious, even through his family circumstances, and Magnus admired that in him.

 

The first one to greet them was Izzy. She flung herself out of the door as soon as Alec and Magnus approached it, and hugged her brother tightly. Then – to his surprise – she launched herself at Magnus, almost as enthusiastically, and hugged him as well. “Good to see you both!” she exclaimed happily. “Missed me, huh?” Alec said in a jokingly mocking tone, though Izzy just stuck her tongue out and dragged the two inside quickly.

Jace came soon after. He had his arm around a tiny little redhead, who Alec recognized as Clary, one of Izzy’s friends from school. After exchanging formalities and lots of hugs, Jace eyed Magnus carefully. “So you’re the one who finally dragged my brother out of his shell?” “Seems like it,” Magnus simply returned, putting a hand on the small of Alec’s back, reassuring him that Jace’s comments didn’t bother him. Magnus knew Alec well enough to know that’s what he’d been thinking about. And like he understood, Alec smiled down at Magnus, blushing slightly.

 

“Ah, Alec! How are you?” Both Maryse and Robert had made their way into the living room, where their kids were chatting in at the moment. They both hugged their son quickly before turning their attention to his companion.

“So you must be Magnus,” Maryse said, extending her hand towards him. _Alright, time to make a good first impression._ Magnus took her hand easily and smiled his showstopping smile. “Correct. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Lightwood,” he said in a voice so charming, Alec almost got jealous. “Oh please, cut the Mrs. Lightwood – I’m not that old,” Maryse replied with a chuckle. “Call me Maryse.”

Next was Robert, who, unlike his wife, pulled Magnus in for a bone crushing bear-hug. He _always_ was the ‘hug-type-of-guy’. Magnus was startled at first, but quickly readjusted and returned the gesture. When they both pulled back, Robert grinned widely at him. “Robert Lightwood – don’t even try the Mr. Lightwood thing. We’ve heard so much about you,” he said joyfully. Magnus and Alec both raised an eyebrow at him – perfect unison, almost like an old married couple. “Really now? I can’t remember ever mentioning him aside from that one time on your anniversary,” Alec proclaimed with furrowed brows. His gaze soon shifted towards Izzy, who was hiding her nervousness behind a grin. “I might have mentioned him once or twice…” she admitted, causing Alec to roll his eyes and sigh. Magnus simply chuckled and put his arm around Alec’s waist affectionately. “How can you _not_ talk about me all the time, darling?” Magnus questioned, jokingly. “Cocky – also; we really haven’t been official for too long,” Alec explained, returning Magnus gesture and putting his arm around him.

“You guys are just too sweet – I can’t! I’m gonna get diabetes just from watching you,” Jace exclaimed earning him a collective eye-roll and a semi-light punch from his girlfriend. “Ouch! My feelings!”

 

Afterwards, dinner was served – cooked by Maryse herself – and, considering this was a family event, it went very smoothly, aside from the occasional weird comment from Simon, Izzy’s boyfriend who had arrived shortly after Magnus and Alec. It was nice for Alec to spend some time away from campus and with his entire family, even nicer, now that he got to share this time with Magnus as well. Magnus actually felt very welcome. No one questioned why he didn’t spend the holiday with his own family – whether or not Alec had instructed everyone not to ask, Magnus didn’t know, but it didn’t matter, really, he was just glad that no one bothered asking. And he really was enjoying spending time with the Lightwoods; Izzy and he got along very well, seeing as they both shared an interest in makeup and fashion. Jace, though he made the occasional snarky comment, had a good heart, and if you didn’t know, you’d almost believe that he wasn’t adopted, but shared the actual Lightwood DNA. Simon and Clary were nice as well, fitting of their partners. So, overall, Magnus was more than glad he’d agreed to join Alec.

Later that evening, after dinner, Alec and Magnus excused themselves, and made their way to Alec’s old room. (There might or might not have been someone yelling something along the lines of ‘Keep your clothes on!’.) The room was plain – simple, if you will – but somehow very fitting of Alec. Aside from a gigantic bookshelf, filled to the brim, there were only the necessities; a bed, a desk, a chair.

 

“That was exhausting,” Alec declared as he sunk onto his mattress. “I liked it. Your family is really nice – but it was really hard to keep my hands and lips to myself the entire time,” Magnus purred as he lay down besides Alec and wrapped his arms around him. “Well, luckily you don’t have to anymore,” Alec said with a smile as he placed a kiss on Magnus’ lips.

 

After a while of silence and just staring into each other’s eyes, Alec seemed to be thinking about something, as he began to bite on his lower lip – a nervous habit.

“What is it?” Magnus asked, only slightly concerned. Alec closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. “Nothing. Just glad you enjoyed it. You know…you’re always welcome here…” Alec explained, looking away shyly.

Magnus heart almost burst with joy. This meant so much – Alec telling him that he had a place in this family, that he wouldn’t need to be alone anymore. Of course, he hadn’t been since he met Alec, but this was something different, a whole new step, and a lot more trust involved. Magnus sighed contently and grabbed Alec’s chin with his hand to turn his eyes towards his own.

Magnus looked into the hazel pools for a moment, beautiful and calming, before he kissed Alec again. Not rushed or fierce – gently and with emotion, so much emotion, that he couldn’t just express it through a kiss anymore – he had to articulate it properly.

 

“I love you.”


	25. Demons of the Past

_3 Years ago…_

_“Come on Lightwood, what’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?”_

_Another shove, another punch, another insult. Over and over again, till all Alec could hear, see, and feel was numbness. He had tried so hard to ignore what others were saying – he let all of it wash over him, until it became normal to be treated like scum. He had tried so hard to ignore what others were doing – he let all of it happen, until he was hurting all over, until he felt like this would never change._

_This school was hell – a pit of despair, especially designed to trap and torture Alec. He was always the laughingstock of some other, more popular kids. In the beginning, it had bothered him, he tried to speak up about it, talked to teachers even, but nothing helped, and nothing changed. If anything, it had gotten worse._

_First, there were words, then, there were physical assaults._

_Right now, three older students were shoving Alec against his locker, punching him mercilessly, until he was lying on the floor. Even then, they didn’t stop – they kicked him, till Alec blacked out. He was left there, only found later, when a teacher finally crossed his path. But they didn’t do anything, they didn’t help. All they did, was bring Alec to the nurse. Yes, his physical injuries were treated, but that was only what was wrong on the surface. There was so much more beneath, so much more that no one would ever see or feel. Alec wanted no one to see or feel this. No one should have to._

_Everything got worse, when Alec came out to his siblings. It was supposed to be a relieving experience, and for a time it was – until one of the older students, Sebastian Verlac, overheard a conversation between Alec and his sister, in which they talked about a boy Alec was crushing on. Of course, he knew he didn’t have a chance with that boy, seeing as he was straight, and when looking back now, he never should have told Izzy about him, never should have had this talk. Because from here on out, everything spiraled out of control._

_Sebastian was a horrible person, violent and unpredictable, everyone knew it – so no one tried to stop him when he started to make Alec’s life a living hell._

_It started when he told Alec that he knew about his sexuality. Though the younger one denied it, knowing full and well what would happen to him if everyone knew about it, Sebastian was insistent. He probably didn’t even need a reason to torment Alec, but this secret just made it worse._

_It started with physical abuse – Sebastian would neat Alec up almost every day, saying that, if he told anyone, he’d let out his secret. What could Alec do? He had no choice but to suffer through this torment, hoping that someday it might get better. But it didn’t._

_Even though Alec never told anyone who was beating him up, Sebastian outed him anyways. That was when everything got really bad. Not only were Sebastian and several of the other, older students constantly picking on Alec – now he also had to deal with verbal abuse from almost everyone who wasn’t involved with him or his siblings._

_Speaking of, Jace and Izzy tried their best to protect their brother, but even they couldn’t stop everything that was going on. And Alec didn’t want them to – he didn’t want them to get involved, he didn’t want to risk them receiving the same treatment that he was. They had done nothing wrong, and they shouldn’t have to suffer just because they were related to Alec._

_For a time, Alec could live with the abuse – it wasn’t a good life, but he knew, high school would end eventually. He had hope that things would get better afterwards, when he wouldn’t have to see all these people, when no one would know about him again._

_But the more people told him that he was an abomination, that he was unworthy of love, that he should end himself – the more Alec believed them. What if there truly was no place in this world for him? What if everyone was right, what if he would never find love, if he didn’t deserve it?_

_Every day, Alec was going through hell, and he endured it heroically, for a time. But when it all got too much, when he finally felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore – he decided not to live like this anymore._

_It was a spring evening. Beautifully imperfect – fitting. Alec was standing on the edge of the Brooklyn Bridge. No one paid attention to him – again, very fitting._

_Alec felt ready, he was ready to let go of all this hurt, of this darkness that followed him, of life altogether. Tears were streaming down his innocent face, all the memories, the mocking, the violence, it had followed him, even here. And Alec was ready to let it go._

_Just before he took the final step that would literally send him over the edge, someone called out to him. A twist of fate, a spark of hope, a light, shining pure and white, entered his life in this fateful moment._

_When Izzy realized that her brother was missing, she immediately assumed the worst. Following her instinct and her gut – well, it brought her here, to the point where Alec was standing. When she saw him, she ran like her own life depended on it, and maybe it did. She called out, she cried for her brother to stop, to listen to her._

_They both had tears rushing down their faces – still no other soul even bothered to stop and take a second look at them. But in this moment, his sister was enough for Alec – at least for now, if he was lucky, always._

_Though Alec chose to stay strong, to endure and live through this horrible time – and he became stronger through it – some of the things those people told him stuck with him._

_‘You are a monster.’_

_‘You are an abomination.’_

_‘You don’t deserve love – no one will ever love you.’_


	26. This Fragile Moment

“Alec? I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to…damn. I screwed up, didn’t I?” Magnus quickly sat up at the edge of the bed before Alec could even react. He was still stunned by Magnus’ words. They were hanging in the air like dark clouds, ready to either pour down rain or dissolve in a matter of seconds. And what would happen was now up to Alec, and Alec alone. Still, it took him a moment to compose himself. His vision was blurry, his heart was beating dangerously fast, his breathing was quick.

 

Alec only realized that something was wrong when he heard a quite sob escape Magnus’ throat. He had buried his face in his palms and was shivering. When Alec realized that he was the cause of this discomfort, his mouth went dry and panic started to coil in his stomach. He slowly reached out putting a hand on Magnus shoulder, trying not to scare him away.

 

Magnus wanted to – he wanted to leave, he felt like he might throw up any moment now, like he’d screwed up – big time. The sudden touch on his shoulder should’ve been alarming, it should have sent him over the edge and running for the hills. But instead, instinctually, Magnus could do nothing but lean into the touch, savoring it like it might be the last of its kind.

 

“Magnus, look at me.” Alec’s voice was urgent, pleading, and so many things that Magnus couldn’t understand. Yet he couldn’t move, fearing with this moment’s end, the end of his relationship to Alec would come. Only when he felt Alec’s hand move down to his arm, pulling lightly, could Magnus move again. “Please…look at me,” Alec repeated, his voice even more urgent than before. All Magnus could do was comply and await his inevitable fate.

 

What Magnus didn’t expect when he turned around, was the look in Alec’s eyes. Even in the darkness, he could make out the bright orbs, and they were hiding so much. Comfort, hurt, care, fear, and so much more. Magnus couldn’t speak, overwhelmed by the emotions Alec couldn’t even fully express.

 

Alec cupped Magnus’ cheek, sitting up beside him, and urging him to keep his gaze. “Please let me speak, just – just listen to me, okay?” Magnus could do nothing but nod weakly at Alec’s request.

 

“You don’t know this about me yet, but my past was pretty fucked up – I mean it. Not the common-school-kid-depression-kind, I mean really bad. When I was in school, my life was a living hell and I couldn’t tell anyone about it because I didn’t want to involve anyone. I was so scared and alone all the time. People told me that I was a monster and that I didn’t deserve to be happy – they told me that no one would ever love me and that I’d never love anyone. And I believed them – I was so close to ending it all, and even after I changed my mind, those words hung around…that is, till I met you.

 

Magnus, when I’m with you, you make me forget everything that happened to me, you make me want to be better so that you can be better. You make me feel special, and needed, and like there will always be someone who cares. Since I met you, you’ve been nothing but perfect to me. You’re caring, honest, you take your time with me, you are beautiful, and funny, and smart. And even your tiny little flaws and imperfections don’t matter to me, because to me – all those things make up who you are. And you are perfect for me Magnus. You showed me that there is hope and love in this world for me, and I can never thank you enough – all I can do is tell you that I love you too – so much, you have no idea.”

 

After Alec was finished with his monologue, he could only smile and let the happy-tears fall down his face. All these feelings – they were so overwhelming, and nothing of this was planned, but Alec meant every word he said, and he could only hope that Magnus understood.

Magnus wasn’t fighting his tears anymore either – he was lost in Alec’s words, his feelings, and in this moment. He wished he could jar this feeling forever and cherish it like one of his pictures – this fragile moment deserved to be remembered forever. Something in Magnus had changed for the better, he didn’t understand what it was, he could simply feel it. It lit a completely new passion and fire inside of him that was so powerful, he felt like he was radiating.

 

Alec, feeling this new sensation within Magnus, and within himself, pulled Magnus down towards him and met his lips with every emotion he could showcase.

 

If ever a moment in either Alec’s or Magnus’ life could be described as perfect, it was this one – this precious memory in this dark room, on a day that Magnus had learned to despise, which would now hold his greatest feelings forever.

 

Sleep and tiredness were swept away by the euphoria, running through every particle of the lover’s existence. Who knows how long they were lying in each other’s embrace whispering vows of love an appreciation to each other, over and over again. This felt so right, so good, and so meant to be – neither could remember what life had felt like without the other. From this moment out, it seemed like a joke in comparison. This must’ve been where life truly began, where it truly started to matter – not living for oneself alone anymore, but for another one as well.


	27. Every Single Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick A/N before I get this started: A big Thank You to everyone who has commented, kudos-ed, or simply read this story. It really means a lot! I'll also be trying to reply to some of the future comments more regularly, so if you have any criticism or ideas, let me know:) Enjoy!

Alec Lightwood would’ve never described himself as romantic in any way, shape, or form. But yet, here he was, sat down on a bench, overlooking most of the campus. In his hands he had a stack of paper, some of it with notes and scribbles on it, some of it crumbled at the edges.

If anyone told him he’d be wracking his brain, trying to think of a way to write a love letter that isn’t too sappy and cliché, he’d have laughed at that person. Just another way in which Magnus had changed him – for better or for worse.

 

Alec didn’t even know what exactly made him want to write this letter, he just still felt so overwhelmed with his emotions. They’d been growing ever since he first met Magnus, and it still felt so strangely new, yet exciting. Though Alec had already made his point pretty clear with the speech he gave Magnus, back at the Lightwood residence after Thanksgiving, he wanted Magnus to know that this wasn’t just something he’d said on a whim. Just like his photos, Alec wanted to immortalize his feelings in written form, so Magnus could always look back at it and know exactly how much he meant to Alec.

Easier said than done. Alec couldn’t possibly grasp and put every single one of his emotions towards Magnus in words – he wasn’t even sure if there were actual words for most of them. He was slowly becoming more and more frustrated – not at his emotions, at least not anymore, but more at his own inability to articulate them.

 

Alec loved literature and poetry and he wanted to be able to put everything in words. It made him feel at ease and accomplished, but this was the first time he seriously had trouble with that task.

 

Sighing, he decided to give up for the day and make his way back to his room, where he hoped Magnus would be waiting for him.

Sure enough, Magnus was already home and expecting Alec. When the younger one entered, he was quickly pulled into a hug and covered in kisses. “I missed you,” Magnus whined as Alec tried to break free of his arms. “I was away for like two hours Magnus, clam down,” Alec replied chuckling. Before Magnus could argue back, Alec silenced him with a kiss to his lips. After Magnus had finally calmed down somewhat, Alec pulled away and smiled down at him.

“I just like having you around, that’s all,” Magnus sighed as he leant his head on Alec’s chest. “Good, because you aren’t gonna get rid of me anymore,” Alec snorted as he pulled Magnus in for another kiss.

 

Magnus seemed to be content with the situation as he relaxed in Alec’s arms and sighed against his lips. He ran his hands down Alec’s sides and slipped them under his shirt, caressing the skin beneath with his gentle fingers. The touch sent shivers down Alec’s spine and made him blush. He still wasn’t used to the effect Magnus’ touches and lips on his were having, every single time they got close. Alec always wondered if this felt at least half as good to Magnus, but seeing as the other one wasn’t complaining, Alec guessed he wasn’t doing so badly.

In fact, Magnus more than loved every single touch of Alec. He was so shy and careful with him, it was refreshing and made every contact feel intimate, as if it was reserved just for him.

 

 

As their kiss deepened and continued, Magnus couldn’t help the natural reaction his body was having in his lower regions. When Alec grabbed onto his belt loops to pull him closer, Magnus could clearly feel his own erection pressing against Alec’s through their pants.

With a short gasp, Magnus pulled back and looked down. “Sorry about that…” To his surprise, Alec cupped his cheek, turning his head towards him and looked him directly in the eyes. “Don’t be,” he breathed out as he connected their lips once more and started to press against Magnus.

Magnus, surprised but pleased with the way the current events were unfolding, grabbed a hold of Alec’s hips and pressed them even closer together to create more friction. With each touch, the air around them seemed to be heating up even more. With every kiss, the desire in both men grew.

 

This time, it was Alec who pulled back, but only enough to be able to speak, while Magnus was panting heavily.

“I…I’d like to try something, okay?” Alec asked shyly. He hadn’t really expected any of this, but for now, he decided to go with his gut. After all he trusted Magnus, even to tell him if he did something wrong. Magnus, in turn, nodded and let himself be pushed into a sitting position on the edge of his bed, while Alec attacked his neck with licks and kisses, down to his collar bones.

Slowly, he pulled Magnus’ shirt over his head and threw it away. After admiring Magnus’ beautiful tan and muscled chest for a moment, Alec started placing open mouthed kisses all over the older man, paying special attention to his nipples, while rubbing his legs.

 

When Alec was satisfied, Magnus was staring down at him, open mouthed, still breathing heavily, and with lustfully dilated pupils. He ran his hand through Alec’s messy hair. Alec, who had slowly settled down between Magnus’ legs, started to unbutton the older one’s pants and slowly pulling them down. He’d lie if he said he wasn’t nervous about what he’d be doing next, but he was more than ready to at least take another small step in this relationship.

Magnus boxer briefs, which had become extremely tight in the last few minutes, soon followed, allowing Alec to finally marvel at Magnus’ seemingly perfect body in its entirety. He quickly pulled Magnus in for a heated kiss.

“You’re so beautiful,” Alec whispered as he leant down again. He absentmindedly ran his tongue over his lips before leaning down and pressing kisses on Magnus’ impressive length, up to its’ tip. Then, slowly and carefully, Alec descended upon it, taking in as much as he could, while hollowing out his cheeks and sucking lightly.

Even for Magnus, this was something entirely new – never before had this felt so intimate and special. His whole body was trembling as Alec quickened his pace and deepened his advances. Magnus knew he wouldn’t last long. He was surprised however, when Alec pulled away, looking up at him in concern. “Are you alright? You’re shaking…” Magnus couldn’t believe Alec thought that what he was doing was anything but extremely pleasurable – he couldn’t help but let out a laugh as he stroked Alec’s hair. “I am more than fine…I’m shaking because you’re doing so good,” he explained, pressing a quick kiss on Alec’s forehead. The younger one grinned sheepishly. “You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?” he asked teasingly. “Never,” Magnus replied in a whisper as Alec continued his work.

 

It didn’t take long for Magnus to feel the typical coil of pleasure building. Though it was difficult through all his gasping and moaning, he managed to let Alec know that he was getting close. Alec, however, didn’t seem fazed by Magnus’ words and simply continued his movements, sliding his tongue around Magnus masterfully with every thrust.

“Al-Alec…I’m about…about t-to…Shit…you need to pull back,” Magnus warned, but to no avail. As pleasure overcame him and he reached his climax, Alec simply slowed his movements and swallowed around him. Magnus hips were stuttering and he was unable to speak, riding out his high still surrounded by Alec.

When Magnus was finally finished and his body began to relax again, Alec stood up and sat down beside him. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and looked away shyly. “Was…was that alright?” he asked, and Magnus couldn’t help but gape at Alec’s serious lack of confidence.

“That was more than alright,” Magnus exclaimed, emphasizing his point as he pulled Alec in for another kiss. Alec was finally able to relax and accepted the compliment – or maybe just the kiss – with an appreciative groan.

Breaking away slowly, Magnus leant his head on Alec’s shoulder, placing soft kisses on the younger one’s neck. Their cute little moment was interrupted by Alec’s stomach growling at them. “I guess I could really use something to eat,” Alec chuckled, nuzzling Magnus’ neck. “Same…Chinese?” Magnus asked, turning his head slightly so he could look into Alec’s eyes directly. “Sounds good to me,” Alec concurred as he kissed his boyfriend once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what they say...surprise smut is the best smut.  
> What do you mean 'no one says that'? Come on, let a man dream...


	28. Meet the Family

“So I’ve been thinking…”

“Oh god, are you breaking up with me?”

“What?! No! Stop assuming that Alec!”

“Sorry…”

 

“Okay, so I’ve been thinking, since I met your family, I think it’s about time that you met mine. And by family, I mean my friends back from England,” Magnus explained. At this, Alec immediately perked up, almost knocking the coffee standing in front of him over. “Really? I mean, I’d love to – but are you sure?” Alec knew that this was a big step for Magnus, so he needed to be sure that Magnus was certain about this. As if reading his mind, Magnus chuckled and grabbed Alec’s hand, squeezing it softly. “Of course I’m sure. I think you’ll get along just fine, and I’d really like you guys to finally meet.”

 

It created a sense of pride in Alec, knowing that he was worth enough to Magnus that he’d be meeting his closest friends. Magnus was usually very closed off when it came to his past, especially concerning his family and friends. So this was a big deal, not only for Alec, but for Magnus as well.

 

“So what do you say?” Magnus inquired, just a tiny bit of uncertainty weaved through his voice. Alec smiled at him fondly. “I’m looking forward to it.”

 

And just like that, it was settled. Magnus would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous about the meeting. The last partner he introduced his friends to was Camille, and that had gotten pretty ugly. Then again, looking back at it, Camille was a bitch, and Tessa usually picked up on that. The two immediately hated each other, and eventually, Jem and Will had to agree with Tessa (much to Magnus disliking). But he’d be damned if he ever admitted that his friends were right from the start – that really wasn’t Magnus’ style.

 

Tessa, Jem, and Will had announced that they’d be staying over the next weekend, giving Alec an adequate amount of time to ‘prepare’ – whatever that meant. Magnus was simply delighted to be seeing his friends again, even more so, now that he’d be able to introduce them to Alec, instead of vaguely talking about him.

 

The three hadn’t stopped pestering Magnus about it since he mentioned Alec for the first time. Will was constantly making fun of Magnus (then again, that’s what he usually does), while Jem and Tessa were all over every single romantic gesture Alec or Magnus performed. Yes, they were annoying at times, but they still were family to Magnus. And because of that, he’d love for them to get along with Alec.

 

Eventually, Friday rolled around and Alec was a nervous wreck, even more than Magnus. The fact that they were constantly around each other and still unable to calm each other down wasn’t helping either.

 

“Do you think I can wear this?” Alec asked, holding up a black shirt and pointing it in Magnus’ direction. “Darling, you’ve shown me three of these already. They all look the same, and they all look good on you. Besides, I really don’t think they will care too much about how you look…” In all honesty, Magnus found it endearing how flustered Alec was. He was adorable, running around the room, rummaging through his clothes, and trying to tame his hair that just didn’t want to behave today!

“But what if they do Magnus?!” This had become a pattern. Alec would ask something, Magnus would try to calm him down, Alec would not let himself be calmed. They already acted like an old married couple. Slowly but surely, Magnus had enough. He stood up from his bed, walked over to Alec and took a hold of both of his shoulders.

 

“Listen to me Alexander. Please, calm down. You have nothing to be afraid of, okay? Just be yourself and everything will be alright,” Magnus said with a soothing tone. After a few moments and deep breaths, Alec finally let the warmth and closeness of Magnus overtake his nervous thoughts. Magnus smiled at him and cupped both of his cheeks.

“I’m just afraid that they’re going to hate me. They mean so much to you, and it would suck if they didn’t get along with me,” Alec explained, the exhaustion of his prior efforts clearly showing. He was staring at the floor, almost embarrassed. But Magnus simply chuckled and pecked his lips. “Don’t be silly darling. No one could ever hate you! And if they did, I’d just smack some sense into their heads,” Magnus replied playfully, earning a chuckle from Alec. After another quick kiss, Alec let out a deep sigh. “I really don’t understand how you put up with me.” “The things I do for love,” Magnus replied with a snort.

Alec captured Magnus’ lips again, this time deepening their kiss and holding onto it longer than before. Just as his hands began to travel to the hem of Magnus’ shirt, he pulled back, releasing Alec’s lips.

“All right, save some of that for later, we need to get ready!” Grumbling, Alec pulled back and made his way over to the bathroom. On his way, Magnus poked Alec’s side – a spot where he knew he was ticklish – and winked at him. “Don’t worry, we can just continue where we left off later,” he cooed. Blushing, Alec said something under his breath that Magnus couldn’t quite make out – something along the lines of ‘We better…’ but who knew.

 

“What was that darling?” Magnus inquired with a playful smirk. “Nothing! I said I love you too!” “You’re such a sap Alexander.”


	29. 'The' Talk

Alec didn’t know if he should be glad or terrified that Magnus’ friends had agreed to meet them in a bar instead of a club (like Magnus had hoped). Yes, Alec hated clubs and the loud noise some people described as music that came with them. Then again, if they couldn’t hear what he was saying, maybe he’d be able to circumvent some embarrassing moments. Damn it, was he overthinking this whole situation again? Oh well, no turning back now.

 

As Magnus and Alec approached the bar, Alec could feel his nerves starting to act up again, but, grabbing onto Magnus’ hand even tighter, he willed them away for now. He’d have plenty of time to sulk later, but for now, he should be focusing on actually trying to make a good first impression.

It didn’t take Magnus long to spot his friends after they entered. He was waving happily at them, and suddenly, Alec felt three pairs of eyes locked onto him – judging. Somehow, this felt like high school all over again – people you don’t even know making assumptions based on your looks alone. This evening was going to be so much fun…

 

Magnus pulled each of his friends in for a quick hug, before pointing to Alec and introducing him. “Guys, this is Alec. Alec this is Tessa, Will, and Jem.” Before Alec could react to the introduction, he glanced at each of them individually.

Tessa was smiling brightly. She somehow had a mom-feeling about her, which was comforting but also kind of unsettling. She pulled Alec in for a hug, almost crushing all of Alec’s ribs with her force. “It’s so good to finally meet you! Magnus can literally not stop talking about you,” she cheered and pulled back. Alec didn’t even know how to respond to that – he just smiled sheepishly and muttered something along the lines of ‘It’s good to meet you too’. Magnus was giving her a rather unamused glare, which she shrugged off innocently.

Next up was Jem, who somehow reminded Alec of an old lady in his neighborhood. Maybe it was the hair, maybe it was the frail stature – either way, he’d have to make sure not to address it. Jem shook Alec’s hand so softly, Alec was scared he might just break every bone in the poor man’s body if he applied even a little pressure. Still, Jem also seemed nice enough, which was a great relief as well.

And then there was Will. If it weren’t for his eyes, he might’ve just been Alec’s long lost brother. They had some strikingly similar features and Alec couldn’t help but feel a sting of jealousy bolt through his spine. To make things worse, Will was by far the most distant and cold one of the three. He didn’t even bother to shake Alec’s hand, he simply gave him a nod and a grunt – which Alec assumed was meant to be a greeting – and sat back down.

Well, two out of three – that could’ve gone worse.

 

Alec was more than happy to find that making conversations with Tessa and Jem was super pleasant and easy. They talked about college, their home back in England, they even showed interest in literature – so Alec really did have something to talk about with them. Magnus tried not to interrupt their talk, instead, he let Alec speak and only interfered when necessary. But most of the time, he was just sitting beside Alec and holding his hand – a gesture for which Alec was more than thankful, it made him feel like he wasn’t alone in this.

What was unsettling however, was the fact that Will did not make an effort to join in on the conversation whatsoever. He was just sitting there in silence, keeping his gaze fixed on Alec and not moving at all. Once or twice, when Alec looked over at him, his eyebrows furrowed – as if he was disapproving something Alec did or said. And it was unnerving – to say the least. Then again, as long as Alec had Magnus with him, he felt like he couldn’t be bothered by Will’s obvious distance.

 

“I need to use the bathroom. Be right back,” Magnus suddenly declared. Alec’s eyes widened – really?! He was just going to leave him with these three strangers? Alec could’ve sworn he saw a devilish smirk as Magnus stood up. He probably realized that Alec was not happy with his departure – he was holding onto Magnus’ hand way longer than really necessary. Unfortunately, that wasn’t going to save Alec, and before he knew it, he was sitting at the table alone with Tessa, Will, and Jem.

 

Instantly, the atmosphere became more awkward, and as Jem and Tessa exchanged a knowing smirk, Alec couldn’t help but feel like this was planned all along.

“So, now that he’s gone…” Oh god – this actually _was_ planned, wasn’t it? “…we’re going to have the good old family talk with you,” Tessa continued as she leant forward slightly. Alec gulped – this wasn’t going to be good.

“I think you know what this is about, don’t you?” Jem questioned, his voice eerily calm. Alec couldn’t help but look between the three nervously. “Uh…uhm, no n-not really,” he admitted. Jem sighed in frustration and quickly looked to Tessa with a sly smirk.

“Let me spell it out for you; you hurt him, we hurt you. Easy as that,” Tessa explained. Oh – that was it? Alec couldn’t help but laugh out for a second. Now that he thought about it, it all made sense. Of course Magnus’ ‘family’ needed to threaten him, just like Isabelle and Jace probably threatened Magnus. Tessa and Jem were actually smiling at Alec as well, they seemed to understand perfectly well.

 

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt him,” Alec explained with a smile. “God, you scared me. For a moment there, I thought you might try to murder me,” he joked.

 

“We still might.” Those words sent shivers down Alec’s spine. They were the first thing he heard Will say, and Alec knew, he’d remember those words.


	30. Great Explanation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't even ask how I came up with this, I really don't know...  
> Sorry for the kinda short chapter, I'll try to make up for it with the next one though~

What do you do when one of your boyfriend’s best friends just threatened to kill you? Well, that’s certainly an odd question, but one that Alec had to deal with right now.

He was staring at Will, who returned his look. The worst part was, Will’s face was so void of any emotions, it really reminded Alec of a serial killer. Will just looked cold, distant, but most of all; threatening.

 

Alec couldn’t help but gulp and chuckle nervously, trying to play the comment off. He could feel the palms of his hands beginning to sweat, so he rubbed them against his legs out of reflex, trying his best not to seem bothered. Unfortunately, Alec’s face pretty much told everything that was going on inside his head – he didn’t even realize it, but he wore an expression of pure horror, which, of course, didn’t go unnoticed.

 

Tessa and Jem shared a look, both squinting their eyes. Alec would’ve tried to look at them, but somehow – something – froze him in place, and he couldn’t take his eyes off of Will. With each passing moment, his heartbeat seemed to become faster and faster, till Alec was sure everyone around him could actually hear it.

And just as Alec felt like he was having the panic attack of a lifetime, Tessa and Jem started laughing maniacally. In fact, they were almost toppling over, grabbing their sides, tears rolling down their faces. Finally, Alec could take his eyes of Will and instead look at the other two, his expression changing from horror to confusion in a matter of seconds. It took the two a minute to calm down enough to be able to talk – Will was still staring at Alec adamantly.

 

Jem, who was sitting beside Will, slapped his shoulder playfully. “Would you loosen up? You scared the poor boy to death!” he scolded, not entirely serious, but also not entirely joking. Will simply shifted his glare from Alec to Jem, who started to laugh again.

“He’s just so pissed because he’s constipated,” Tessa managed to say between fits of laughter. That didn’t really help with Alec’s confusion. “Uhm…I’m sorry, what?” he asked, his gaze shifting between Tessa and Will. But before either of them could answer, Will replied, seeming slightly offended. “It’s not funny you guys! I actually feel like I’m about to explode!” His glare still remained, but his voice seemed more whiny and distressed than before. Alec still couldn’t really wrap his head around the whole situation. “I…you…what?” But instead of answering him, both Tessa and Jem started laughing again, and this time, Will couldn’t suppress a smile any longer as well.

 

Alec was left dumbstruck. His mouth was hanging open, and he was still sweating from nervousness. This time, Will seemed to notice, and he shook his head with a sly smirk. “Oh don’t look at me like that. I’m not actually going to murder you,” he snorted. Finally, a honest laugh escaped Alec. “Right…yeah. Totally didn’t believe that. Very funny though,” he mumbled – maybe more to himself than to anyone else.

 

Finally, Magnus returned, sitting back down next Alec. He quickly took hold of his hand and squeezed it reassuringly, almost as if he knew what had happened just now – but if he did, he wouldn’t address it. “So, what’re we talking about?” he asked innocently. “Nothing really, just Will’s dysfunctional digestive system,” Tessa snorted, earning her a glare from Will, but another fit of laughter from Jem.

Magnus looked at Alec, his eyebrows furrowed, confusion written all over his face. “I don’t even know,” Alec said, shaking his head, but smiling fondly.

 

After that, the conversation came easier to everyone involved. Alec managed to keep up with Magnus’ friends and actually get to know them reasonably well. Even Will didn’t seem like such a bad guy if you got to know him. He even shared some embarrassing stories of Magnus’ past, (like the one time he ended up half naked in a police station after going skinny dipping) which Alec made sure to remember, if he ever needed to use them against Magnus.

After a few hours, the group said their goodbyes, Magnus and Alec headed back to their dorm room while Tessa, Jem, and Will headed back to their hotel. On their way back, Magnus took hold of Alec’s hand and kissed it softly. “How bad was it?” Magnus asked, his tone carrying serious concern, but Alec quickly dismissed it. “I think they’re nice. Like, Jem is literally the nicest person I’ve ever met, Tessa’s cool as well, and Will’s pretty funny too,” he summarized, smiling at Magnus reassuringly. “Good, I’m glad you guys got along. It would’ve sucked if you didn’t,” Magnus sighed, waving his free hand in an overly dramatic fashion. “And I think they liked you too, which is a good sign,” he continued. At that, Alec smiled, feeling accomplished and proud to be approved by Magnus’ friends.

 

The rest of their walk was spent in comfortable silence. These were moments both Alec and Magnus cherished – being around each other without the need to talk, just finding comfort in the other one’s presence.


	31. Another Struggle

As comfortable and serene as the walk back to the dorm room was, it couldn’t have prepared either Magnus or Alec for the night to come.

At first, everything was normal and well. After both boys had changed and gotten ready, they got into bed, wrapped up around each other – as they usually did. Normally, enjoying each other’s presence, their sleep was quiet and relaxing. But something was clinging onto Alec – something that hadn’t been resolved. It stuck, like a cold grasp around his heart, and it didn’t let go. Alec could feel it, and it slowly made its way into his sub consciousness, bringing up dreaded memories and horrible dreams, filled with bits and pieces of his past.

 

This was very unusual. Since Alec had met Magnus, and even before that, he didn’t have nightmares anymore. So, this one, surprising as it was, hit even harder than it probably should have. Deep down, Alec knew that he wasn’t alone, but the feeling of companionship was pushed aside and overwhelmed.

 

In his dream, Alec was struggling to get away from some of his tormentors, back from school. No matter how fast he ran, they were inching closer and closer. Alec could hear their mocking screams clearly, as if they were coming from inside his head. Eventually, they caught up, pinning Alec down on the ground.

There was a distinctive face that Alec immediately recognized as Sebastian Verlac’s. The light hair, the evil glint in his eyes, mirroring his devilish thoughts and actions.

Alec could feel punches and kicks all over his body. He was trembling, struggling to get away, but he couldn’t move. Slowly, his vision faded, leaving him surrounded in darkness, but the violent thrusts didn’t stop. Neither did the voices, telling him that he was all alone. Alec drowned in a dark sea of despair that engulfed him with its cold waves. He had no control over what happened, no way to escape. All he could do was suffer through every second of the horrific experience, hoping it would eventually end.

And then, it did.

 

Alec’s eyes snapped open. He felt cold, and he was sweating. There was a weight on his chest, making it hard to breathe properly. He tried to focus his vision, but it was dark, and he was barely able to make out the shapes of his surroundings. It was almost like he was still trapped inside of his own mind, inside of this nightmare.

Alec struggled to move, but he could feel himself being held down. Then, slowly but surely, he recognized words, uttered in a soothing, yet concerned tone. He couldn’t make out what they meant, but the voice helped to calm his nerves.

Eventually, Alec realized that it was Magnus who was holding him down. Through the darkness, he could slowly make out the features on his face. He looked so worried, so scared. The sight horrified Alec, and it sent a spark of guilt down his spine. Was he responsible for this?

 

It took Alec a while to calm down. Magnus had barely moved, he stayed close to Alec and whispered soothing words.

“What happened?” Alec questioned, still out of breath. “I…I’m not quite sure. You were tossing and turning in your sleep, and you wouldn’t wake up, even when I talked to you,” Magnus explained, his face still showing his worries. Alec sighed and inhaled shakily. He didn’t want to be a cause for concern, especially for Magnus.

“I had a nightmare…I haven’t had one for months now.” Alec tried to sound calm and collected, but he could see it in Magnus’ face that he wasn’t doing a good job at it. “It seemed really bad,” Magnus agreed. He wanted to know what caused Alec to feel so distressed, but he wasn’t sure how to ask, or if it would be appropriate.

Before he could think about it too much however, Alec got up. Pacing around the room, he seemed restless – as if he was fighting his own mind. He didn’t know how to articulate his thoughts, how to explain to Magnus what was going on – he wasn’t even sure himself. Suddenly the room felt too small, too constricting.

Ignoring Magnus’ worried look, Alec went to grab his jacket and put it on. “What are you doing?” Magnus inquired wearily. Alec was still searching for the right words. He zipped his jacket and walked towards the door. “I just…I-I need to get out for a while,” he said, not able to look at Magnus right now.

Magnus, on the other hand, only worried more and more. He didn’t understand what was happening, though he desperately wanted to help. “Alec, wait. Talk to me, please, you can’t just leave like this,” he urged, though it seemed to be wasted. Alec didn’t seem to falter, he was set on his actions and he wouldn’t change his mind. “I need to be alone for a while, okay? I’m sorry Magnus.” And that was all Alec could manage to say before he left the room in a hurry. He ran, he ran and he wouldn’t stop, making sure to get as far away as possible before Magnus could follow him.

 

For now, this was his own struggle, his own fight. And he needed time to think, to process, to understand. Though he wanted to explain to Magnus what was happening, he needed to deal with it on his own first.

 

Magnus was left in their room. He was staring at the door where Alec had left for a moment. Magnus didn’t know what to think or what to make of the entire situation. He was trying to make sense of it, but he couldn’t.

Slowly regaining his composure, Magnus quickly got up and tugged on his own jacket, going after Alec as fast as he could. Unfortunately, there was no trace of him. And just like that, Magnus began to run. He ran, searching for his boyfriend, needing to be with him, needing to understand as well.

When he left the building, he noticed that it was still pitch black outside. Finding Alec in this darkness would be damn near impossible, but all he could think of doing right now, was trying just that.


	32. Dramatic and Forgetful

The thing about our past is, it is part of us. No matter how hard you try to forget or ignore it, no matter where life leads you, no matter what changes – you past will always be with you. You can choose to learn and grow from it, or you can choose to be ruled by it.

 

Alec was sitting on a bench that overlooked a vast field of grass. During the day, this would’ve been a beautiful scene, something that Magnus probably would’ve wanted to take a picture of. But now, shrouded in darkness, it just looked like a pitch black field of nothing.

Staring at it, Alec let his mind wander. The images of his dream still remained before his inner eye. Why now? Why did they come back like this? Alec sighed, burying his face in his hands. He didn’t want to cry, he wouldn’t let himself. He had wasted enough tears in his past, and he knew that it wasn’t worth it to spend anymore now – especially on something that has long since passed.

 

Alec didn’t want to feel bad anymore. He thought he had left this all behind. It took him a while to realize why he was feeling this way, and it was only after he’d been sitting like this for what must’ve been almost half an hour that it dawned on him.

Right as this epiphany hit him, he lifted his head, hearing the sound of steps coming towards him. In the dark, it was almost impossible to make out who was coming towards him, and it wasn’t until Alec heard a voice calling out that he realized who the shadowy figure was.

 

“There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Magnus yelled. There was a hint of anger, but it was overpowered by the genuine concern in his voice. Alec looked at him, his face becoming clearer with each step he took towards the bench, and sighed.

“I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have run out like that,” Alec agreed, but he knew he had to explain his actions to Magnus. “It’s just…I guessed I haven’t felt like this in a while,” he continued. Magnus furrowed his brows and sat down next to Alec on the bench. “What do you mean?” he questioned, turning towards Alec.

Alec braced himself. He knew that he had to be honest, but he feared the consequences of his words. He didn’t want to scare Magnus away, but he couldn’t keep this in either.

“I felt…left alone. Like I was standing in this world alone again,” Alec tried to explain, but Magnus didn’t seem to quite get it. “What do you mean ‘alone’?” Alec took a look at Magnus. It was difficult to read his expression in this darkness, but he seemed to be interested, yet concerned, which encouraged Alec to keep talking.

“When you left me with your friends earlier, I felt like I was all alone. I don’t really know them, and I guess I got frightened. When you left me with them…it reminded me of my time in school, when I was left alone all the time. I’m just afraid of being alone, and I hadn’t felt like this since I got here.”

 

Magnus took all of Alec’s words in. He kept his gaze steadily on his boyfriend, who was being so brave and vulnerable, eventhough he was scared. A sense of pride filled Magnus, as he realized that it took Alec a lot to be so open and honest.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Alec continued, oblivious to the fact that he had left Magnus speechless - not angered. “I get it if you think that’s weird,” he quickly added, trying to defuse the situation.

Magnus shook his head, and smiled a genuine smile. “No, I have to apologize. I get what you’re saying. I didn’t think, and I shouldn’t have left you with them, especially because I know that your past was pretty horrible,” he explained, grabbing Alec’s hand and holding it tightly between his own.

Alec exhaled shakily and showed a lopsided smirk. “So I’m overly dramatic and you’re forgetful.” Magnus snorted and let his head drop to Alec’s shoulder. “Yes, I guess you could say that,” he agreed and lifted his head again, looking directly into Alec’s eyes as he pressed a kiss to his lips. As he pulled back, Magnus could see the softening expression of Alec. They both knew they could’ve handled this situation a lot easier if they’d just talked to each other from the beginning. For what it’s worth, they learned their lesson.

 

“I love you,” Magnus said, relief finally filling his voice. “I love you too,” Alec replied , in turn, relieved that his past wouldn’t scare Magnus away, even if it haunted him from time to time. His voice was shaky, and tears threatened to roll down his face, but these weren’t wasted for the past. They were a reminder of all good things that happened to Alec, all the experiences he had collected, all the people he met along the way.

“Now can we please go back to bed? I need to be up in about 3 hours and I’m freezing my butt off,” Magnus begged. With a genuine giggle, Alec nodded his head and let himself be pulled to his feet again. With linked hands, the pair walked back to their room.


	33. The Letter

It was getting colder and colder with each passing day. Winter slowly grasped at the days with its’ cold claws. Things were going well for Alec and Magnus. They had been together for over a month now, and Magnus was being patient and considerate as ever. He continued to take things slow with Alec, and since the incident with Tessa, Jem, and Will, he seemed to be even more careful not to place Alec in uncomfortable positions. In fact, Magnus was being such a sweetheart, Alec began to feel horrible about it – how could he ever repay him? How could he ever be there for Magnus in the way he was there for Alec? Alec wanted to show his appreciation, he wanted to let Magnus know how wonderful he was. Luckily, Alec had been preparing something, and now was probably the best time to share that with Magnus.

It was almost 5PM when Magnus was finally done with his courses for the day. Exhausted, he made his way back to the dorm rooms. He was really looking forward to a relaxing evening with his boyfriend – nothing special, maybe they’d watch a movie and get something to eat. A smile appeared on Magnus’ face as he imagined all the possibilities. It was these simple things he was always looking forward to – Alec seemed to make them enjoyable. Needless to say, when Magnus finally reached their room, he was almost bursting with excitement (though somehow inhibited by his exhaustion). That feeling, however, didn’t last long. As soon as he entered the room, Magnus realized; it was empty.

Odd – normally, Alec should be back by now. Magnus checked his phone, wondering if Alec had left him a message. When he didn’t find one, Magnus was getting really confused. Alec would’ve let him know if he was heading out for dinner or something.

Starting to worry – just the slightest bit – Magnus shrugged of his jacket. He took out his phone again, wanting to call Alec, but as Magnus made his way over to his bed (well, by now it was their bed…), he spotted something lying on the blanket.

It was a small envelope. Magnus quickly took it and eyed it suspiciously. As he turned it around, he saw the words ‘To Magnus’ written on it. As his curiosity got the better of him, Magnus threw his phone to the side and instead opened the envelope. Inside of it, he found a letter, handwritten beautifully.

_Dear Magnus,_

_I wanted to tell you some things for a while now, but whenever I try to do so, I become nervous and flustered. Instead, I’ve decided to write them down, so I wouldn’t forget anything._

_You are, without a doubt in my mind, the most caring, unique, beautiful, and loving person I have ever met._

_You were never put off by my inexperience. You take your time with me, you make me feel like we have all the time in the world, you make me feel like time stands still. I want to thank you for that._

_You are always the center of attention, even if you don’t always notice it. But whenever you’re with me, you make me feel like I’m special and deserving of all the attention in the world. I want to thank you for that._

_Your style is impeccable, though you know that already. You make makeup look like art. You are quirky and over the top, but still so perfectly yourself. I want to thank you for that._

_You are gorgeous. Your eyes are beautiful, and whenever I look at them, I get a little lost. Your smile can brighten up an entire room. And don’t even get me started on your body…I want to thank you for that._

_But, maybe most importantly, you love me. No matter what I do or say, you love me. And you always let me know. It is the small things you do, your soft touches, your careful words, the way you look at me – all of these things let me know, each and every moment that we spend together, you love me._

_And all I can do in return is love you back with all that I’ve got._

_I may never be as caring, unique, beautiful, and loving as you are – but I promise this: Every single day, I will try my best to make you feel special and loved. Every single day, I will try my best to let you know how much you mean to me. Every single day, I will try my best to be the best version of myself, for you._

_I know that I can’t be perfect, and there might always be dark clouds on the horizon, but I promise – every single day, I will try my best to return at least a fraction of all the love you let me feel._

_Yours, always_

_Alexander_

Slowly, Magnus read and reread the lines. Tears started to well up in the corner of his eyes, but he willed them not to fall so they wouldn’t stain the letter. He was breathing heavily, his hands began to shake. Never, in his entire life, had someone written Magnus a love letter, let alone something like this. Now, there was only one thing on Magnus’ mind; where was Alec?

As he lowered the paper in his hands and looked up, Magnus almost jumped as he realized that Alec was standing in front of him, clutching his hands behind his back nervously. He smiled shyly down at Magnus.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Hey,” Magnus replied, equally soft, and unable to tear his eyes from Alec. In the following moment of silence, Magnus could practically feel every emotion written down in the letter seeping from Alec. It was so overwhelming to think that there was someone in the world who thought so highly of him, who cared so much, who loved him.

“I hope it wasn’t too cheesy,” Alec said, shifting awkwardly. Finally unable to hold back, Magnus pulled him down onto their bed and crushed him in a hug. Now, he was finally able to let the tears of joy fall.

“I love you so damn much Alec,” Magnus said, peeling away just a little bit. Alec smiled brilliantly. “I love you too,” he replied.

Their lips connected. The kiss was filled with a whole new level of passion and love, with want and need. It started out slow but became fierce and demanding quickly. It wasn’t like their mouths were fighting for dominance, but rather dancing around one another in a perfect symphony.

After what felt like hours, Alec reluctantly pulled back, looking at Magnus again before smiling softly.

“I think I’m ready.”


	34. I don't mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeeee....

Magnus looked up at Alec. He felt like he could see the determination in Alec’s eyes, but he had to make sure he didn’t misunderstand what he was saying right now.

“Are you-“ But before Magnus could finish, Alec’s lips connected with his own again in a passionate kiss that was answer enough. Now that they both knew where this was heading, things got heated pretty quickly.

 

As their kiss continued, tongues sliding against one another, hands trailing over bodies, the room seemed to heat up. Alec was the first to remove his shirt. He was sitting across from Magnus, who stared at his chest in awe for a moment, before laying Alec down on the bed. As Magnus hovered above him, he kissed him once more, slowly trailing his hands down Alec’s chest, caressing the soft skin.

Slowly, Magnus leaned down, placing kisses along Alec’s neck, down to his chest. As he began to swirl his tongue over Alec’s hardening nipples, soft moans escaped Alec as he held onto Magnus’ hair.

 

As soon as his lips were on Alec’s again, Magnus rid himself of his own shirt. As the two pressed their torsos against each other’s, the contact of their heating skin sent waves of pleasure through their bodies.

In one swift motion, Alec turned Magnus over so he was lying beneath him. Alec mirrored Magnus’ actions and trailed kisses down his chest. As he sunk even lower, he dipped his tongue in Magnus’ navel, causing him to shiver and smile.

With a flick of his hand, Alec unbuttoned Magnus’ jeans. He quickly unzipped them and pulled them down, throwing them off the bed in the process. Alec leant up for another quick kiss, rubbing his hardening member against Magnus’, before leaning down over his boxer briefs again. As he slowly peeled them off, Alec placed quick kisses along Magnus’ length. As soon as the last layer of clothing was out of the way, Alec captured Magnus’ erection in his mouth, swirling his tongue over the tip of it in a smooth motion. He slowly lowered his head, continuing to swirl his tongue around while hollowing his cheeks and sucking. Meanwhile, Magnus’ calm breathing turned into erratic gasps. He could barely manage to whimper Alec’s name, getting lost in the absolute pleasure. Before he reached his climax however, Magnus quickly pulled back, flipping Alec over again so he was lying on his back again.

 

As Magnus kissed Alec once more, he used his free hand to open Alec’s pants. Leaning down, he pulled them and Alec’s underwear off in one swoop, before returning to his lover’s mouth. It was the first time their naked bodies rubbed against one another entirely, and the new thrilling sensation elevated them both into a whole new world of pleasure.

Alec almost whined at the loss of contact when Magnus leaned down to return the favor. He took Alec’s length into his mouth and licked over the slit on top of it. As Alec moaned and whispered all sorts of profanities under his breath, Magnus began to bop his head up and down, faster and faster. It wouldn’t have taken Alec long to orgasm, hadn’t he stopped Magnus.

“I don’t want to finish yet…” Alec panted and captured Magnus’ lips again. When Magnus leaned back, he stared into Alec’s eyes. “Are you sure you’re ready?” he questioned one last time, just to be safe. Alec simply nodded, blushing slightly. “I want you inside me,” he added, flushing with a deeper shade of red.

Magnus smiled down at his lover and quickly put two fingers in his mouth, covering them and making them slick. He lowered the first one to Alec’s entrance, playing around it for a bit, before slowly pushing it in. Magnus observed Alec’s face the whole time, making sure he wasn’t too uncomfortable. When he was certain that Alec was okay, Magnus began to move his finger in and out. Alec’s breathing quickened, but he didn’t protest.

When Magnus felt Alec relax around his finger, he slowly added the second one. This time, it took Alec a little longer to adjust, but when he did, Magnus could move his fingers in and out with ease. After a few tries, Magnus reached Alec’s prostate, rubbing over it. Alec’s eyes widened, as a wave of pleasure shot through him. Magnus simply smiled, but teasingly removed his fingers. Alec almost whimpered at the loss of contact – almost.

 

As Magnus realized that he didn’t have any protection with him right now, Alec grabbed his jeans, which were lying next to the bed. He pulled a condom out of the back pocket, along with a small tube of lube.

“I see, you’ve come prepared,” Magnus teased with a smirk. Alec hit his shoulder playfully, but didn’t deny it. He ripped the package of the condom and put it over Magnus’ erection, rolling it down with a few strokes. Magnus, in turn, grabbed the lube and put a generous amount of it on his hand, before rubbing it over his member to spread it and warm it up. When he was finished, he sat up between Alec’s spread legs and aligned his member with Alec’s entrance.

“If you’re ever feeling uncomfortable, let me know,” Magnus said. Alec nodded eagerly – he had waited long for this moment. As Magnus slowly pushed in, Alec could feel himself tightening around this new sensation. Magnus kissed his neck, trying to ease the pain a little. It took them a while, but eventually, Magnus buried his entire length in Alec.

 

When Alec finally managed to relax, Magnus began to move in and out slowly, making sure that Alec wasn’t hurt in the process. In time, he picked up the pace, thrusting with growing force. As Magnus hit the pleasurable spot inside of Alec again, both men began to see stars. Alec wrapped his legs behind Magnus’ back and pulled him down for a sloppy kiss. Magnus, in turn, supported himself on one arm, searching for the lube with his other one. When he finally found it, he poured some more of it on his palm and took hold of Alec’s, still erect, length.

At first, the cold sensation was disturbing, but as Magnus began to move his hand in time with his thrusts, the lube warmed up.

 

As Magnus hit Alec’s prostate over and over again, the younger one could feel himself getting close to the edge. With his quickened pace, Magnus was also getting close. “Mag-Magnus, I’m gonna…I’m…” was the last thing Alec muttered, before he exploded over his stomach, moaning obscenely in the process. The sound of that, along with the tightening waves, sent through Alec’s body, was enough to set Magnus over the edge as well. As he yelled Alec’s name, he came.

 

It took both of them a while to regain their senses. Alec was smiling happily. As he wiped some of the drops of sweat that had formed on Magnus’ face away, he kissed him once more.

“That was…wow,” Alec muttered, still panting. Magnus chuckled as he quickly grabbed a towel to clean them both up. “Glad you enjoyed it as well. Guess we’ll need to do that more often,” he joked as he wiped himself and Alec’s stomach clean. “Definitely,” Alec chuckled in reply.

 

Finally, they lay down together, pulling their blanket up and wrapping their arms around each other. Both of them were exhausted in the best way possible. Before they drifted off to sleep, they shared another quick kiss.

“I love you,” they said, almost in unison, causing them both to erupt in a short burst of laughter. “We’re pretty much an old married couple,” Magnus said with a grin. “I don’t mind it,” Alec agreed – and he really didn’t.


	35. I love Surprises

5 Years later

“You know that I really don’t like surprises, right?” Alec questioned for, what must’ve been, the 30th time. His eyes are covered by a scarf, and Magnus is slowly leading him through a corridor beneath the apartment building that he and Alec have moved into after they graduated. The building is nice and affordable – but the best part; more than a single room to share. It was pretty much out of the question whether Magnus and Alec would continue living together – they had already managed that for years during college, and that worked out just fine.

“Are we there yet?” Alec asked. He started to sound like a toddler, which made Magnus chuckle lightly. “Almost,” he replied. After another few turns, Magnus finally released Alec.

“And now?” Alec inquired, standing god knows where, and still wearing the scarf. “Just take the scarf of,” was all that Magnus said. He somehow sounded like he was a few feet away.

 

As Alec was finally able to open his eyes again, he was blinded by a bright, white light hanging from the ceiling. It took him a moment to adjust, before he could take a look around. Strangely, Magnus seemed to have left the room.

Right when Alec was about to call out in panic, he noticed something on the wall. He stepped closer, and it took him another few seconds, but then he realized what he saw.

 

It was a picture. A picture of the tree Magnus and Alec had kissed under, after one of their dates – to be more precise. Alec smiled at the memory, but was now thoroughly confused – that is, until he realized there were more pictures, spread out on the wall like a gallery. Quickly, he stepped over to the next one.

It was the selfie he and Magnus took on their first date. Looking back now, Alec couldn’t believe that he wanted Magnus to delete it at first.

 

The next picture was of Magnus, who had a fork stuck in a turkey and his other hand thrown into the air in a victory pose. All of the Lightwoods were gathered around the table and feigned being in awe. Alec chuckled at the memory, that was on Thanksgiving three years ago. Magnus has gone with him every year since they’ve been dating, and it was always an event.

 

Next on the wall was a picture of a lake. It took Alec a moment, before he recognized it. That was the first vacation he and Magnus went on together. The weather had been great, and they spent pretty much the entire week in the lake, goofing around. They’d have to go back there sometime in the future, it really was a magical place to be.

 

Another picture showed Alec with Tessa, Jem, and Will. They were having a heated discussion about their favorite singers. Who knew that Will would be so passionate about Taylor Swift? The trio really grew on Alec, and he understood why Magnus was so close to them. When you got to know them, they were all great people – even Will. (Aside from the times when he’s constipated…)

 

There was also another selfie of Magnus and Alec, but this time, Camille was in the background – throwing up violently, while Alec and Magnus made duckfaces. That surely was a party to remember.

 

Alec toured the entire room. Each picture he saw contained a memory. It was like traveling through time and reliving all the amazing events of the past. Alec had come to love photography after spending so much time with Magnus – he was right, there’s just something about capturing moments and memories.

 

Alec walked on and on, until he reached the last picture. It was a simple one. He and Magnus were holding hands, and Alec was placing a kiss on Magnus’ cheek. That one was taken recently.

After making it through this entire rollercoaster of memories, Alec was actually beginning to tear up. He and Magnus did have some rough times – every couple does – but they always bounced back and came out stronger than before. Still, Alec was not sure what this was all about – until he turned around and saw Magnus standing in the middle of the room with a smile on his face. Alec quickly went over and kissed his boyfriend tenderly. “This is beautiful…but what is it for? I haven’t forgotten about our anniversary, have I?” Alec asked, though he was pretty sure that he’d remember their anniversary. “Don’t worry, that has nothing to do with it,” Magnus chuckled. He actually seemed kind of nervous. But right when Alec was about to question what was going on again, Magnus dropped down onto one knee. He took hold of Alec’s hand and looked at him with nothing but love in his eyes. Alec’s eyes, in turn, widened almost comically.

 

“Darling, it’s been a wonderful five years. All of my best memories include you, and I know that all my future memories will include you as well.” Magnus was beginning to tear up as well, but he kept going. “I was so lucky to meet you, and I can’t imagine my life without you. So, Alexander Lightwood…” Before he finished, Magnus pulled out a small, red box from his pocket and opened it, revealing a beautiful silver band. “Will you make me the happiest man in the world? Will you make every other man and woman envy me? Will you marry me?”

 

Alec didn’t even care that there were tears streaming down his face uncontrollably. Without hesitation, he nodded repeatedly and pulled Magnus up into a tight embrace. They stood like this for a while, crying into each other’s shoulders, before Magnus pulled back slightly. “Still need to put a ring on it,” he joked. Alec chuckled and held out his hand, while Magnus slipped the silver ring on it.

They shared a kiss, filled with love, joy, but, most importantly, the promise of a happy future together.


	36. Bonus 1: The Postcard Incident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there dear Readers!  
> As I said before, I originally published this story on another site. On there I promised to publish some Bonus Content if we reach certain milestones. (You can get a glimpse at all these extra chapters in Ch.35; the photographs in the gallery.)  
> I finally decided to publish this content on here too as people really seemed to enjoy the story. Be warned though, these chapters will be short and don't really add much to the story, besides some interesting milestones in Alec's and Magnus' life. So if you (understandably so) feel like the story is concluded with the previous chapter, you won't miss out on too much if you decide not to read on. If you do however, I hope you enjoy these little extras.

“Oh my god, this looks _beautiful_! You should totally get it,” Magnus swooned. He was skimming through some fashion magazines with Izzy. It was at times like these that Alec regretted ever introducing them to each other. Once they got going over any kind of clothing or makeup related topics, they wouldn’t stop for hours. Jace was occupied with his girlfriend, Clary. Who knew those two would survive this long together before clawing their eyes out? It was quite remarkable with Jace being so cocky all the time. Alec somehow felt for Clary, but then again, the girl had some serious fire under her butt. She was probably the only person, aside from Maryse, who had Jace under control.

While Izzy was busy with Magnus, Simon decided this would be the perfect opportunity for some bonding time with Alec. He was now on minute 13 of his monologue about how the Star Wars Prequels destroyed the story. Alec hadn’t even seen any of the movies, but that didn’t stop Simon. On the contrary, he made it his mission to explain the plot in detail. Definitely not the most fun afternoon activity.

 

Finally giving in to the more self-preserving part of his brain, Alec decided it was time to get out of this room for a while. He dismissed himself, saying that he needed to use the bathroom.

On his way down the stairs, Alec walked past the kitchen and was immediately captivated by the smell coming out of it. He was practically floating towards its source, only to be interrupted by Maryse. She was wearing her Thanksgiving-themed apron with a giant turkey on the front. That woman loved this apron way too much.

“Food’s not ready yet. Why aren’t you hanging out with your siblings?” Maryse said, eyeing Alec suspiciously. “I can’t be there anymore. If I hear the name Obi-Wan Kenobi one more time, I’m going to murder someone,” Alec explained dryly. Maryse nodded, seemingly understanding. Alec wouldn’t put it past Simon to have the same monologue he recited for Alec in front of Maryse as well.

 

“Well you can hide in here if you want,” Maryse finally announced and made her way over to some pots on the stove. Alec kissed her cheek and plopped down on one of the kitchen chairs wearing a thankful smile.

Unfortunately, watching his mother cook wasn’t much more entertaining than Simon’s geek talk or the latest fashion faux pas. Soon enough, Alec’s eyes were roaming through the room, searching for anything exciting. That’s when his gaze landed on a postcard. Alec went to grab it – and boy oh boy was that a sight.

 

The card was from some family friends, the Waylands. It featured the entire family wearing Neanderthal costumes. Each of them had a club in one hand and a fork in the other.

Alec looked at the picture and wasn’t quite sure what to feel. “That doesn’t even make sense,” he murmured, squinting his eyes. Maryse turned around and saw the card her son was holding. “Yeah…don’t even ask me how they came up with that,” she chuckled and quickly returned to her stove.

 

Not long after that, Maryse announced that the food would soon be done, so Alec went to get his siblings. Not long after, they swarmed the room, each of them craving Maryse’s legendary Thanksgiving feast. But before any of them got the chance to enjoy the meal, Magnus spotted the postcard Alec had left on the table and took a look at it. He also squinted his eyes, but didn’t immediately react. Jace and Izzy shared a confused look and quickly went over to see what Magnus was staring at as well. As soon as they saw the picture, they pretty much froze in place, barely able to contain their laughter. Maryse and Robert only sighed as Simon and Clary also went to stand behind Magnus, who was still holding the card, and started laughing.

 

When the laughter that filled the room finally died down a bit, Magnus stood up and took a look at the entire Lightwood clan. Lifting the card above his head, and with a challenging tone, he announced;

“We can do so much better than that.”


	37. Bonus 2: The Great Debate

“Okay listen! Have you _seen_ how many views she has on Youtube?! Come on, that has to count for something,” Will yelled, flailing his arms around while almost knocking over all of the drinks placed on the table before him. Judging from the amount of empty glasses standing on the table, which had once contained various cocktails and long drinks, it was pretty obvious that whatever was going on here right now was fueled purely by alcohol.

Alec and Magnus had saved up some money to visit Will, Tessa, and Jem back in England. They had gone out for drinks, and after an hour or two, things started to get out of hand pretty quickly. Alec had talked about how he felt like music was also a form of poetry and from there everything escalated. Now, he, Will, and Jem were having a heated discussion about their favorite pop divas…who knew those three would get so passionate about something that seems so trivial?

 

Magnus knew better than to interject this debate – also, it was way more fun watching those three going head to head. He and Tessa were laughing maniacally at them, but the three didn’t even seem to be bothered.

“I don’t care how many damn views Taylor Swift has on Youtube! Lady Gaga is the shit and you know it,” Jem countered, causing the two other males to groan in frustration. Magnus leant over towards Tessa, barely able to contain his laughter long enough to comment on the action. “Did Jem just swear?” he asked in disbelief. “I guess he’s pretty drunk,” Tessa countered with a shrug, taking another sip from her colorful cocktail.

 

“Oh please! The songs of these two all sound the same! Taylor Swift is a brat who switches her boyfriend more regularly than Will changes his underwear and Lady Gaga is just trying way too hard! Now when you look at Sia on the other hand…” Alec tried to reason but was quickly shot down by Will. “She’s not even a diva you blithering idiot!” Alec gasped in shock – and Magnus was pretty sure that he wasn’t just faking it for the dramatic effect. “How dare you?!” Alec hissed through gritted teeth, glaring at Will. You could pretty much feel the hatred boiling beneath his skin.

 

Finally, Jem was the on to notice that there were two other members of their group who hadn’t taken a stance yet. “Tessa, help me out here, will you?” he pleaded. Tessa was taken slightly off guard, and unable to respond immediately. “Yes Tessa, please explain to him why he is wrong,” Alec chimed in, looking at her expectantly. Tessa looked absolutely helpless – much to Magnus’ delight. It took her a moment, but she finally decided to give in. “Well, I personally think that you’re all wrong,” she admitted and was quickly faced by three jaws hanging low. Magnus’ roaring laughter seemed like nothing but slight background noise at this point. “I swear, if you say Katy Perry, I’m moving out,” Will threatened, pointing at Tessa – who looked at Magnus for help, but he was long gone on this one. “Look, Katy Perry is not that bad…” Tessa began but was quickly silenced by a most elaborate assortment of different swear-words thrown at her by Jem, Alec, and Will.

 

Magnus, at this point, was basically rolling on the floor, clutching his sides that had started to hurt from laughter about twenty minutes ago. “Oh god, I hope you all still remember this tomorrow,” he said, more to himself than to anyone else.

Tessa was quickly dragged full-on into the debate. Though she tried to be reasonable at first, she soon realized, that wasn’t going to get her very far. Jem got more and more frustrated, no one had ever heard him swear this much. Will had turned bright red and was beginning to lose his voice from yelling so much. Alec was gripping onto his own hair in frustration and groaning at every argument anyone else tried to make. It really was a beautifully disastrous sight – one Magnus deemed worthy of being remembered forever.

 

“This one’s going to be one for the history books,” he cheered to himself.


	38. Bonus 3: Come Swim with Me

“You know, I still don’t know how you convinced me about this being a good idea,” Magnus announced. He was rubbing his arm nervously, and he was sweating – though that might also be due to the temperature. He was sitting in the passenger seat of the car he and Alec had rented for this occasion; their first vacation together.

They both finished their finals two days ago and had planned on this trip for a while. They just wanted some time alone, away from all the trouble college was putting them through, and away from the prying eyes of friends and family.

While discussing ideas for possible destinations, Alec came up with the idea of visiting the old Lightwood cabin at a nearby lake. He and his family had spent many summers there when he was younger. It was a sweet little house, pretty secluded as well. And it had access to a small lake that pretty much no one knew of.

 

Magnus, though he liked the idea of staying pretty much wherever, as long as he was with Alec, wasn’t too fond of the idea of having to spend time in said lake. After a rather traumatizing near-drowning experience, he avoided every large body of water he could.

Alec, understanding the deeply rooted fear of Magnus, promised that he wouldn’t have to join him for a swim – and even if he did, he’d have nothing to be afraid off. The lake wasn’t very deep and the water was pretty clear. It took a whole lot of convincing, but in the end, Magnus agreed.

 

That brings us to the here and now. As Magnus and Alec got closer and closer to their destination, Magnus became more and more nervous. It’s not like he wasn’t looking forward to spending some quality time with his boyfriend – he just didn’t want to do it near a lake.

 

“Magnus calm down. Like I said, you won’t have to go into the water, you can just lay around and get tanned or something,” Alec soothed, rubbing his boyfriends hand reassuringly.

“Oh yeah? And what happens when you get a heart attack while out there and I can’t do anything to save you?” Magnus replied challengingly. Alec just rolled his eyes – as much as he loved Magnus, he could be so overly dramatic.

 

The two bickered back and forth for the rest of the ride, but as soon as they arrived, it was like all of Magnus’ worries were blown away.

The scenery was absolutely marvelous. The wooden cabin, shaded by the surrounding trees, towered over the crystal clear surface of the lake that reflected and captured the afternoon sunrays.

Magnus was awestruck, his mouth hanging open, as he slowly got out of the car – his gaze still glued to the beautiful scenery.

“I told you it’s nice,” Alec teased as he went and picked their bags from the trunk of the car.

“’Nice’ doesn’t quite do this sight justice,” Magnus replied dramatically. To say he was overwhelmed would be an understatement. He couldn’t wait to take some pictures. Alec just smiled at him as he carried the bags inside.

 

The two didn’t even bother unpacking their things before heading out again. As he announced earlier, Alec put on his swimming trunks and was planning on cooling down in the water. Magnus was not happy with that, but he gave up on stopping his boyfriend. Instead, he brought a blanket with him and settled down under a tree, observing Alec as he jumped into the water without hesitation.

At first, Magnus was bitter about having to spend time alone like this, but he soon realized how happy and content Alec seemed to be, just floating around like a little child. Magnus couldn’t help but smile fondly at him – and somehow feel a little jealous. Maybe...he should give this a try?

 

With a sudden boost of confidence, he stepped towards the shore and dipped his toes into the cool water. The motion send ripples through the otherwise smooth surface.

“Joining me for a bit?” Alec’s voice echoed over the water and captured Magnus’ attention. The mock in his tone was obvious.

“Thinking about it,” Magnus replied earnestly. At his words, Alec swam closer and got out of the water to stand beside Magnus.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, okay?” he reassured, suddenly aware of the will power it’d take Magnus to do this.

“No, I _do_ want to…I just need to take some time,” Magnus said. And with that, he took a hesitant step forwards. The cold water numbed his skin, but it felt refreshing. Alec was besides Magnus the entire time, he held onto his hand to let him know he was there with him.

Soon, Magnus was standing in the middle of the lake, water coming up to his belly. Alec smiled at him and kissed his cheek.

“I’m very proud of you,” he confessed, earning him a smirk and a sweet kiss from Magnus.

“You know, I think this isn’t so bad after all. You just have to promise me one thing.”

“And what is that?” Alec inquired curiously.

“If I drown, you have to save me,” Magnus stated and flung himself into Alec’s arms.

“Of course,” Alec agreed with a chuckle.


	39. Bonus 4: A Party to Remember

Alec wasn’t a big party goer, and even after being together with Magnus for over a year, that fact hadn’t changed. But once in a while, and with enough whining on Magnus’ side, Alec could be persuaded to join him in a club or bar for a while. This was one of those rare occasions, and Alec hated every minute of it.

Soon after he and Magnus arrived at the club, Magnus was pulled onto the dance floor by one of his friends from college. As much as he begged, he couldn’t get Alec to join him – which may have been for the better, considering Alec was one of the worst dancers on this planet. So instead, Alec sat down in a corner, sipping on his non-alcoholic beverage (he still was a lightweight when it came to drinking). He made sure to keep an eye on Magnus – if he lost sight of him in this crowd of people, he’d never find him again.

 

About an hour passed like this, and Alec was already beginning to get tired, while Magnus was still kicking and flipping on the dance floor. The music seemed to get louder and louder with each song, and Alec was pretty sure he’d wake up with the worst headache in history, even without drinking.

His pain was however lessened, when Magnus seemed to take a break from dancing and headed over to him. He wore a bright smile and was sweating profusely.

“Hey there gorgeous,” he greeted and pecked Alec’s cheek as he sat down next to him.

“Having fun?” Alec questioned with a half-smirk. Magnus pouted a little and swung his arm over Alec’s shoulder.

“I am, but you aren’t. Are you sure you don’t want to join me for a while?”

Alec stared at Magnus like he’d lost his mind. He shook his head and took another sip of his drink. “And make myself the laughingstock of the entire campus? No thanks,” he replied.

“Come on, you aren’t _that_ bad,” Magnus reassured, though Alec knew he was lying.

“Izzy compared my dancing to an elephant trying to do cartwheels once,” Alec explained and raised an eyebrow at Magnus, who couldn’t suppress a chuckle.

“Alright, that may be true – but…” “No buts Magnus. I’d rather just watch you,” Alec interrupted quickly.

 

Magnus sighed, seems like he’d need to be content with Alec just being here – which was an achievement in itself. In a way, his mood worsened. If Alec wasn’t having fun, he wasn’t either. Alec seemed to notice the change in Magnus’ expression and pouted at him while rubbing his leg.

“You don’t have to sit around and be bored with me Mags. You can go and dance or something, it’s fine,” he assured and smiled.

Right when Magnus was about to protest again, he spotted something in the crowd of people occupying the dance floor. It was a bleached mop of platinum blonde hair that could only belong to one person, and as soon as Magnus realized who this person was, his eyes widened.

“What is it?” Alec inquired with a frown as he watched his boyfriend.

“I think we should leave. I suddenly don’t feel like being here anymore,” Magnus explained, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the blindingly bright hair. Alec noticed that Magnus was staring and followed his gaze, only to find the person he was staring at.

Standing in the middle of the dance floor, swaying from one leg to the other, was Camille. She looked and moved like she was extremely drunk, and she was hanging onto some dudes like her life depended on it. It seemed like she tried to make out with them, but they were somehow conflicted – probably because of how drunk she was.

 

“I’m going to bitch-slap her into the next century,” Alec announced as he stood up, rage filling his eyes. He hadn’t taken what she said to Magnus when Alec first met her lightly. In fact, he had stored away all the hate and disgust for her, hoping to release it one day.

Luckily, before that could happen, Magnus jumped after Alec, grabbing and holding his arm.

“She’s not worth it. Come on, let’s just get away from here,” he demanded and tried pulling Alec away. He seemed conflicted – he wanted to tell Camille a piece of his mind, but then again, he also didn’t want to make a big scene.

 

As it turns out, Camille was more than able to make a scene on her own. Right as Alec was about to storm off again, Camille began to throw up violently – right on the dude she’d been dancing with. And he did _not_ look happy about it.

Alec and Magnus were staring in shock, but soon began to laugh hysterically at what just happened. The guy from the dance floor practically ran off while Camille was stumbling in his direction. When she realized she couldn’t catch up with him, she stopped and yelled after him, “You’re ugly anyways!”

He words were slurred, making the scene even funnier as she just shrugged and turned to the next guy – who obviously didn’t catch that she’d just thrown up on someone else.

 

Alec and Magnus were almost toppling over from laughing when Magnus decided it’d be a great time to capture the moment. What was even more hilarious was the fact that he took his picture in the exact moment Camille barfed on her next lover – like the classy lady she was.


	40. Bonus Chapter 5: The Last One

 

Planning a wedding turned out to be quite the process. Alec was pretty indifferent when it came to…well almost anything. He thought if he just let Magnus have his way, they’d both end up happy. And it looked like everything would work out nicely, there was no bickering or arguing about decorations or seating, everything was going smoothly.

Cue in Isabelle Lightwood. She was _not_ happy with the fact that Magnus was planning the entire wedding by himself. Though she trusted his opinion, she demanded at least a little ‘Lightwood-influence’ in the planning. And by a little, she meant a lot.

 

For two months now, she and Magnus had argued about every last little detail – from the location of the ceremony, to the guest list. It wasn’t even that they disagreed, they just needed to talk about everything – for hours and hours. After their second meeting, Alec stopped paying attention. He just wanted to get married, not reinvent the wheel! Unfortunately, Izzy didn’t care much for his opinion.

When Magnus and Alec finally decided on a date for the wedding, it seemed like all the planning was finally coming to an end. Though it still took a lot (and I mean _a lot_ ) of arguing on Magnus’ and Izzy’s side, things finally seemed to be set in stone.

 

It would be an outdoor wedding, seeing as neither Alec nor Magnus were big church-goers. The fact that they were getting married in August also took part in that decision. Alec certainly didn’t mind the idea, he actually thought it might be quite nice.

As soon as the setting was established, decisions concerning the decorations had to be made. Again, Alec didn’t really care about that – he didn’t care if the venue would be decorated at all, but Magnus and Izzy insisted.

 

As the date Magnus had marked with a giant red heart in his calendar drew closer, his nerves started kicking in. He wasn’t having second thoughts – god no! But with all the high expectations he had put on the day, Alec was getting worried that Magnus would be disappointed horribly, if not everything went according to plan. And a distraught husband on a wedding day? Not something Alec wanted to imagine. Instead, he calmed Magnus as best, and as often as he could, promising that everything would be fine.

Magnus appreciated Alec’s efforts, and he knew his paranoia wasn’t helping either of them, but he just couldn’t help it – he always said this was his way to show how excited he was to finally be married to the love of his life…and Alec probably made fun of Magnus for being such a sap more often than he needed to.

 

\---

 

The day finally arrived. The 24th of August. And everything looked perfect.

Family and friends were gathered around the wide, open glade. Chairs were set up, centered around a soft pink-ish carpet that contrasted the green grass, which led up to a small, wooden step that was framed with an arch, decorated in white roses. Next to the beautiful scenery stood a rustic, old barn building, which was also decorated in off-white colors. That’s where the party would take place after the ceremony was over.

Right now, however, it served as a shelter for Alec. Magnus instructed him to get changed into his suit in there. As per tradition, Magnus insisted that he and Alec couldn’t see each other in their suits before the wedding. When Alec told him that this tradition was usually only effective for the bride and her dress, Magnus just gasped and told him he wouldn’t forgo this tradition, just because Alec was no woman – and he knew better than to argue with that. Instead, Alec smiled fondly at his lover and just gave in.

 

Jace was with Alec, he helped straighten out his tie and get rid of any speck of dirt he could – not only on Alec’s suit, but also around the barn…

“How are you feeling?” Jace inquired while dusting of Alec’s shoulder for what must’ve been the thirteenth time. In fact, he looked more nervous than Alec.

“I’m good…excited, you know?” Alec answered honestly. He just wanted to get to the ceremony already, he’d waited a long time for this day and he was thrilled that this was finally happening. He wasn’t really nervous – he knew this wouldn’t change things between him and Magnus, but it made everything so official. This was the true promise of a life together and Alec couldn’t be happier. At least, that’s how he felt until he heard panicked footsteps approaching the barn.

 

Izzy and Tessa, who’d been helping out Magnus like Jace was helping Alec, were standing in the doorway, panting heavily and distress written all over their faces. Alec and Jace immediately caught on, and were now beginning to become nervous as well.

“We have a problem. A _huge_ problem,” Tessa began, clutching her side and holding onto Izzy’s shoulder. Alec’s eyes widened at the thought of something being wrong with Magnus. Before he could inquire further, however, Izzy continued where Tessa left of.

“Clouds, Alec,” she panted, earning her two pairs of confusedly furrowed eyebrows from Jace and Alec. “It’s going to rain,” Izzy continued as she let herself sink onto a chair nearby.

 

This was not good. It was the middle of August, it was summer, this should not be happening! But all of this could wait, there was a more pressing matter on Alec’s mind.

“Where’s Magnus? How is he?” he inquired hastily, taking a few steps towards the girls.

Izzy simply pointed in a direction, too exhausted to speak. “Alec, I think he’s panicking…” Tessa supplied, and that was all Alec needed to hear. Without hesitation, he darted off, leaving the barn and many of the guests, who looked at him in confusion, behind.

 

\---

 

It didn’t take Alec long to find Magnus. He was stationed beneath a few trees, sitting on a ball of hay that had been purloined from the barn. He had his face burrowed in his hands – whether it was in sadness or frustration was hard to say.

As soon as Alec caught sight of his soon-to-be husband, a sharp sting pierced his heart. Seeing Magnus so broken, on this day especially, was just unbearable. Jem, who sat beside Magnus and rand his hand up and down his back in a consoling manner, seemed just as lost.

Alec stepped closer, careful not to startle either of them. As soon as Jem caught sight of him, he smiled as well as he could and quickly stood up, making room for Alec. Alec, in turn, nodded gratefully and took a seat, not saying anything at first. He simply put his arm around Magnus’ shoulder and kissed his hair, while trying not to mess it up. A few moments of silence passed before Magnus sighed and raised his head slightly, meeting Alec’s gaze.

“Hey,” he almost whispered and leaned onto Alec’s shoulder.

“Hey yourself,” Alec replied as he tightened his grip on Magnus. “Go on, tell me what’s on your mind,” he urged and smiled down at Magnus, who took a moment to gaze in his lover’s eyes with shuddering lips and breath in deeply. As if on cue, a thick raindrop landed on Alec’s head as he cringed away from the feeling.

 

With another sigh, Magnus finally regained enough composure to tell Alec what was wrong.

“This was supposed to be the perfect day. We had everything planned out and now something like this has to happen! This isn’t fair! Don’t we deserve this one day?”

Alec knew that Magnus wanted to ramble on, but his voice was giving out on him, soft sobs escaping his lips as tears threatened to stain his face.

Alec, sensing exactly what he needed to do, dried Magnus’ eyes with his thumbs and caressed his cheeks tenderly before placing a soft kiss on Magnus’ forehead and holding him tight.

“So what if we can’t get this over like we planned? Magnus, all I want to do is be your damn husband already. I just want the world to know that I am yours forever, just as you are mine. For all I care, Jace could hold the damn ceremony. As long as it’d still be official, I wouldn’t care.”

Alec’s last remark managed to draw a soft chuckle from Magnus lips. Before he knew it, Magnus was hurled up from his seat as Alec planted another soft kiss on his lips and stared directly into his eyes.

“So, I say we have two options. Either we weather this storm – literally – or, we relocate this whole thing inside the barn and go on as planned. As long as we get to do it together, I don’t care how we manage it. All I know it that I want to be with you and a little rain won’t stop me.”

 

Magnus pulled Alec closer, inhaling his scent, which he’d grown to love as well, as his steady presence calmed his nerves.

“I love you Alec, but you’re a fool if you believe I’d marry you outside in the rain. This hairdo took too long to create to have it washed out in a matter of seconds,” Magnus finally agreed, earning him a chuckle from Alec.

“Barn wedding it is then,” Alec agreed as he clasped Magnus’ hand and lead him back to the building. The two urged everyone to grab their chairs and follow inside, just in time before the rain started to pour. With the coordinative yelling from Izzy and Will, everyone managed to get settled in in no time at all.

 

Traditions and plans were nice and all, but seeing as the progression of the day wouldn’t allow to hold on to each one of them, Magnus (reluctantly) agreed to not be walked down the aisle by his soon-to-be father-in-law. Instead, he and Alec positioned themselves at the makeshift ‘altar’ that was quickly set up on a hay bail. They took hold of each other’s hands and smiled as soft music filled the room and quieted the chattering crowd in a matter of seconds. The ordained minister that was rented for the occasion held his hands up, greeting all the guests with an easy smile and commenced the ceremony.

“Dearly beloved, dear family and friends. I was told not to keep this up for too long, and who am I to deny these two lovely grooms from getting married asap?” A small round of laughter rang through the rows of guests.

“I won’t bore you longer than I need to – instead, the grooms have written down their own vows, which will certainly entertain you more than anything I could say. So, Alec, go ahead.”

 

Alec cleared his throat and stared into Magnus’ eyes. He had memorized his speech so he would be able to speak directly to his lover.

“Magnus, there isn’t much I could say to let you know just how important you are to me. There are not enough words in the world to describe how much I love you – seriously, I’ve googled. All I can do, is make you feel what I feel. And as long as you will let me, I’ll love you with all my heart and soul. As cliché as it sounds, I am the luckiest man alive to have you by my side. And though I despise those romantic wedding moments from every romantic comedy ever, I get it now. I get why people get so worked up about being married. And, sadly, I have to say…I’m one of them now.” More laughter and chuckles erupted from the crowd, and with every passing second and word, Alec’s eyes started to tear up.

“I think I’m done now…I love Magnus, that’s all I want you to know,” he finished with a smile as the first tear rolled down his cheek.

 

Magnus was breathing heavily himself, barely able to contain his emotions, but he promised himself, he’d get through his speech before he completely broke down.

“Okay, here goes nothing…You know, I had this whole speech planned out. I knew what I was going to say; how much I love you, how much you mean to me, how I can’t live without you. And that’s all true. But seeing as today’s events didn’t go through as planned anyways, I guess I could divert from what I had planned to say as well. Alec, even as I almost broke down, even as a complete emotional wreck – on our wedding day, of all days – you were by my side, and all you wanted to do was to make me feel better. Whenever I’m with you – no matter the circumstances – I feel loved, and protected, and needed. You complete me. And I want to say so much more, but if I keep going, I feel like I’m going to start crying like a baby and that won’t be pretty, so let’s just make this official already.”

 

“That can be arranged,” the minister chimed in. “Alexander Lightwood, will you take Magnus Bane to be your-“

“Yes. Yes, yes, yes, I do,” Alec interrupted, before the minister could even finish. He just shrugged and turned to Magnus.

“And will you, Magnus Bane, take-“ “Yes! Go on!” Magnus ordered quickly.

“Okay, okay, I get it, you’re very eager. Without further ado, I now pronounce you husband and husband. Kiss already, I can see that you’re practically aching to do so,” the minister sighed.

 

Alec pulled Magnus in, wrapping his arms around him and joining their lips. The kiss was like a promise, the first step towards the rest of their lives.

As applause and congratulatory screams filled the room, Magnus and Alec only had eyes for each other. For the rest of the day, neither of them could get rid of the constant smile on their face. Neither wanted to.

 

What started in a dorm room, somewhere on a college campus, had now become a joined life. A future together. A promise. A bright light. Something that would never end, something to hold on to. Just love – always.


End file.
